Get Out of Jail Free

Masking Something.

2012-01-26T10:18:00.002Z

Today I'm going to lunch with a volunteer who has worked with us in the prison for many years, through the organisation Prison Fellowship Scotland. Prison Fellowship is a worldwide organisation which Charles Colson of Watergate Scandal infamy helped to found, but that's for another post. Our lovely volunteer has now decided to retire. She has been greatly loved by the prisoners - and by the chaplains - over all that time. And it's been a mutual love; her family say she refers to the prisoners (some of whom are at least the same age as her) as "my boys".

We didn't want to buy her flowers which wouldn't last, so we have bought instead a print of a piece of art produced by a prisoner. You can buy prisoners' art here at Pictora. I'm slightly wondering where in your house you would put such a picture and whether flowers might have been safer, but I do like the image very much.

It's called "After a Visit".

Here's a question, though? Is the prisoner taking the mask off or putting it on?

If he's taking it off, what kind of mask was he wearing and why? Has he been wearing the mask with his family because he is protecting them from the reality of prison life? Has he been wearing the mask because he's feeling down but doesn't want them to worry about him? Has he, on the other hand, been wearing the mask with his family in quite the opposite way, exaggerating how awful everything is in order to get money, clothing, or drugs brought in? Has he been promising to turn over a new leaf when he knows he doesn't mean it?

If he's putting it on, what kind of mask is he putting on and why? Does he feel he can be himself with his family but not with other prisoners and staff?

Lots of questions and no answers - I like art like that, that makes us think. I just hope the recipient likes it as much as I do!

Christmas in Prison.

2011-12-23T23:49:00.002Z

Being in prison over Christmas is no fun, even for the staff. Please, if you're the praying kind, remember those in prison over the festive season and their families too. And, of course, remember also the victims of crime and their families.

Prisoners Week Scotland.

2011-11-21T23:31:00.001Z

I know there are days for this and weeks for that and years for the other, but this is a good one. Prisoners are by definition out of sight and out of mind - that's kind of the point of the whole system for society isn't it? But for all of us who call ourselves Christians, we're asked by God to love and pray for these guys (and gals) even if we are offended by their offences.

Types of Crime.

2011-10-05T23:23:00.000+01:00

Dementors and the Sunshine of an Indian Summer

2011-09-27T01:17:00.000+01:00

Sometimes I think I picked the wrong country to live in. Not that I picked it - I was born in it (I blame my parents) - but I suppose I didn't choose to leave it. I really love Scotland. Seriously. It's a beautiful country, very beautiful in fact. But (*whispers*) the weather isn't always wonderful, and it's not as sunny as I would ideally like.

This week we're having what we call an Indian summer though. It's late September but the weather is lovely by the standards of this time of year.

On Saturday I was with our church's Youth Fellowship group's outing to a funfair. I suppose the kids would have enjoyed themselves whatever the weather, but the sunshine was a real bonus for us all.

For some of the day I was on bag-and-coat-minding-duty, which involved sitting in the sunshine and people watching. I'm basically a very nosey person and people watching in the sunshine is not a chore.

One of the things I was thinking about during my time in the sun on Saturday was that sunshine really affects the mood of Scots. It really does. Some who read this blog live in sunnier climes where a lovely day is the norm and taken for granted. You may not be able to understand this fully, but in Scotland it is honestly the case that people are by and large nicer and smiley-er and happier when it's a sunny day. The converse of this is that a lot of people suffer in the darker gloomier winter months. There is a condition called SAD (seasonal affected disorder) which is widely recognised and you can buy special lamps which mimic sunlight to help you through the winter. Personally I often think it would be worth the investment for the government just to install these lightbulbs everywhere in shops and offices and "treat" the whole population for free.

On Saturday everyone was smiley and enjoying the autumn sunshine. So was I.

As I enjoyed the sunshine, and thought about the spirit-lifting effects of the sunlight, I began to be reminded of various Bible references to light.

For example, Jesus tells us that he is the "Light of the World". That's an echo of, for instance, Psalm 119:105 and lots of other verses in the Old Testament too. Then Jesus says that we ourselves as Christians have a light-giving role for the world around us. I think that's a really amazing statement by Jesus. Do you notice that it's not a command, but a statement? We're not being told to go and fulfil this duty that we feel, or don't feel, equipped for. We're being told that if we're living in union with Jesus then we ARE (in spite of ourselves really) lights in the world around us.

Light lifts our spirits - sunny days in everyday life but also in a more metaphysical way. I love the promise about heaven in the book of Revelation, and read it often at funerals, that says that one day darkness will be a thing of the past for those who're in heaven.

All those thoughts about sunshine and light inevitably made me think of what light is contrasted against. The devil and his demons are seen in the Bible as dark forces. Sin is described as deeds done/hidden in darkness.

The very talented writer J K Rowling, in her Harry Potter series, introduced us to various chilling examples of baddies. Amongst the most horrible and creepy and chlling are the "Dementors".

This is how the character Remus Lupin explains the Dementors to Harry Potter:

" Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them.... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life".

I think this a powerful description of the effects of the influences of evil in the world. Evil - and as a Christian I believe that evil isn't just the opposite of good but is an actual living power at work in the world - is all about decay and despair and death. It's about sucking the life out of people until they are also soulless and evil.

When we're giving ourselves a check-up as Christians, and trying to assess where we're at exactly, one of the things we need to think about is whether we've got that sunny, life-enriching, positive, joyous, love-joy-peace-patience-kindness-goodness-faithfulness-gentleness-self-control attitude and way of being, or are we negative, life-draining, cold, Dementors, sucking the life out of other people.

I am thankful, incredibly so, that I am a prison chaplain. It is the most amazing job in the world, although it's a real old roller-coaster. I love the prisoners and the staff. I meet such interesting characters and their stories are fascinating, though sometimes harrowing to listen to.

What I have realised afresh is that I need to make sure I don't lose touch with the Light, so that I also (on a smaller scale) can be enabled by Jesus the Light of the World to be a light in the darkness that is prison.

I love working in prison, but it's a real old cess-pool of sin. Please pray for chaplains and Christian prison volunteers everywhere that we will be able to keep ourselves on track in our faith and be always ready, willing and available to love unconditionally. We're human beings just like the prisoners we work with. Without God we're no better than them and may be worse than many of them. Please pray that God will use us to be able to point folk in His direction... not just for the repair of physical ailments but for knowledge of and friendship with Jesus.

Sandy's Illustration.

2011-09-03T22:58:00.000+01:00

Once upon a time, a long time ago, I had the totally wonderful experience of seeing stalactites and stalagmites in a couple of caves in France. I've never forgotten it, though I was only a teenager at the time. I'd so love to have the wherewithal to take my kids to see them too.

This morning I was at our church's monthly prayer breakfast and was reminded afresh of that experience and at the same time thrilled by the wonderful parable/illustration that was given at the beginning of the meeting by the lovely Sandy, a (theoretically) retired minister who is a member of our church. Sandy and his wife Ruth, who are two of my favourite people by the way, have just come back from a holiday in Northern Ireland where they also visited caves and saw stalagmites and stalactites. They had also seen, as I did, that sometimes a pillar is formed when a stalactite and stalagmite join together.

(Incidentally, if you forget which is which, remember tights/tites come down and mites run up, but apologies for the bawdy tone suddenly introduced to this post). :)

Sandy spoke this morning of how both stalactites and stalagmites form. I've copied and pasted a bit from a website that explains it:

"These features are really very interesting. When the water level is lowered to a level below cave, the water entering the cave from above drips down through holes in the roofs. The Carbon Dioxide of the water is freed and the calcium carbonate dissolved in the water is deposited on the inside of the roof. The deposition starts forming in the shape and size of a ring. The ring continues to lengthen gradually. When the material of the water continues to deposit, the ring elongates down from the ceiling and hangs from the latter. The deposited material hanging from the ceiling are called stalactites. The drops which fall on the floors also deposit their calcium carbonate. The deposited material slowly develops upward. It has a small depression at its top. It is known as Stalagmite. Sometimes these two features meet each other thus forming a pillar. Such pillars are known as cavern pillars".

He then went on to draw out a powerful illustration from that which I for one found very helpful and challenging. Stalagmites don't grow upwards from sloping ground. The ground needs to retain the deposits and not let them drain or run away. For a pillar to be formed, there needs to be something from above and something from below.

In Scottish churches we have a phrase, "pillars of the kirk", which we use to describe certain folk in our congregations without whom we can't imagine we could carry on, people who live out their faith so fully and who can shoulder trust and responsibility in such a way that they become as key as actual pillars in a building.

Pillars don't just happen automatically, either in caves or in churches. There are certain prerequisites in both cases. In caves, these are as outlined above. In churches they are, Sandy suggested, kind of similar.

From above, there is what God sends us and gives us through Jesus' coming to earth to live and die for us, through the Bible, and through the Holy Spirit. From below, there is the need to retain the deposits and not let them run away.

I have rarely missed a Sunday service for the past 45 years. Don't be too impressed! My dad was my minister when I was a kid and missing church wasn't on offer - it was compulsory in our house. My husband is my minister now, and although I honestly do love it and genuinely don't want to miss it, there is definitely the added dis-incentive to taking a Sunday off that it might upset Him Indoors! Perfect, or nearly perfect, church attendance is one thing, but how many sermons I have retained is another. I'd really rather you didn't ask.

My stalagmite would have grown much more quickly had I retained more of what I had heard, and had I spent more of my time over the years in prayer and Bible study.

Sandy's illustration was a good reminder to work on that afresh.

This made me laugh.

2011-08-31T23:00:00.000+01:00

This made me laugh, because I share her frustration with this sort of conversation. But it's serious too. Fun and serious at the same time is always a combination I like a lot.

Petrol in a Diesel Engine?

2011-08-18T23:47:00.000+01:00

Today I had a "senior moment" and put four or five gallons of petrol in my diesel car. Not the most sensible thing I've ever done. It happened on my way to work at a petrol station which is attached to a garage. The guys there said they were willing to drain the tank and refuel but that I would need to wait as they had pre-booked jobs to do first.

So I spent four hours in the car. It was pouring rain outside. I guess it's a sign of my advanced age but I now actually don't mind four hours doing nothing - in the past I'd have been going mad. I had a peaceful, prayerful time with Him Indoors's Bible and found a lovely prayer on a wee bit of paper in it, which I enjoyed meditating on. I'll post it separately. I had a wee sleep. I had a cup of coffee. I spent some time doing the puzzles in the newspaper. I didn't enjoy the bill so much. First of all, I'd spent £22 on inappropriate petrol which was drained and disposed of. Then of course I'd to buy more diesel and pay the guys for their time and effort. Loadsamoney. :(

One of the things that occurred to me during this episode was that, ever since someone else I know (I won't name him - let's just call him Him Indoors) did the same thing a few years ago, I've used this scenario as an illustration, in sermons and/or when talking to guys in prison. (I may have blogged about it once before but if I've forgotten then no doubt you have too). Now it isn't a secondhand experience. Now it's firsthand. It would be lovely to think there was a purpose in this afternoon, and that it will strengthen the authority of the illustration or something...

Let me share this illustration here.

There is absolutely no law at all against putting petrol into your diesel car. No one will arrest you and you won't be taken to court. If you want to put petrol in your diesel car every day, or five times a day, you can if you want! You are wholly free to do so.

On the other hand, of course there's a law against putting petrol into your diesel car. It's the law of consequences. If you put petrol in your diesel car (or diesel in your petrol car) there will be consequences. Either you will have to have the tank drained and refuelled, or you will drive it and damage the engine and have a repair bill to pay instead.

I have often used that as an illustration of God's purpose in giving us the rules that are in the Bible. Of course it's up to us whether we follow them or not, but there are consequences of breaking them.

People sometimes think that the Christian faith and Christians are all about telling you what you can and can't do. Not so. We are familiar with the saying on product labels, "For the best results, follow the manufacturer's instructions".

It's the same with life. The Christian faith is NOT - definitely not - about a list of rules. It's about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It really is. It's about a relationship with God, who loves us and wants us to have life and have it to the full. It's so liberating to realise that.

Our firstborn has recently received her standard grade results (in Scotland, standard grades are the national school exams sat in the fourth year of secondary school) and has now embarked on her higher grade year at school. Today all over England teenagers have received their "A" level results. All this affects whether the kids get into university and, if so, which one.

Prisoners in Scotland have the opportunity to work towards early release from prison, either "parole" or "home detention curfew".

Each month many of us have to work to earn our salary. If we don't appear at work, or don't do the job properly, we will lose our job.

Exams, parole, pay... we are all of us brought up in a mindset where we work for a reward. The Christian message, sometimes called the "gospel" is not like this. We cannot earn our way into heaven. We cannot earn our own salvation. We can do our best to keep all the rules in the Bible but (a) we'll not manage to achieve 100% and (b) God's not expecting us to achieve that.

The rules are there not to cramp our style and spoil our fun. The unwritten "rule" that I shouldn't put petrol in my diesel engine isn't there to cramp my style or to spoil my fun either; it's to save me a whole heap of trouble.

God's rules are there for exactly that reason too. The Christian faith isn't about rules; it's about making our lives, our families' lives, our friends' lives and society's life easier and freer and better.

If you're reading this and you've been put off Christianity by the thought that it's all about a whole lot of rules, please think again. It's SO not! It's about freedom! It's about the acknowledgement that we have no chance whatsoever of keeping all the rules and that we therefore need God's help. It's about realising that we've already broken so many rules that we're already done for... except that Jesus Christ has taken the punishment already. What Christianity is actually about is being loved. Unconditionally. It's about being forgiven. Completely. It's about being restored. Totally. It's about living. Abundantly.

Yeah there are rules but they're there for us to choose to follow... and for our own benefit! Just like choosing to put diesel into a diesel car (which I plan to do from now onwards).

Spitting in God's face? Is God a psychopath?

2011-08-16T00:15:00.000+01:00

I came across this statement today in an online debate which I was reading on the Scotsman newspaper's website: “In the extremely unlikely event of me appearing before God on judgement Day, with only an insincere apology required to save me from the flames ... I pray I would have the moral courage to spit in his face” - quote from “Col Blimp III”.

First of all, it reminded me of a prisoner saying almost the same thing to me. This guy was brought up in the church as a child but subsequently chose the path of violence instead (and has been in prison for a long time). He told me recently that, were Jesus himself to appear in front of him, he would refuse to bend the knee, because God (if there is one) is unquestionably a psychopath.

But secondly, the statement I read in the Scotsman online debate just made me squirm. I've been a Christian for a hundred years or so. I find this kind of statement now hits me like a literal slap in my own face. I obviously (well if it's not obvious, I'm sorry) acknowledge people's right to say these things. If they think it they may as well say it, because God knows their hearts anyway. I just cringe though when I hear folk say these things.

The prisoner I mention above says that the reason he hates God so much (although he's not sure if there is a God) is that God has the power to do good and save the world from the mess it is in but seems to choose not to. Another point of view (mine, and Jesus's) is that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son, so that whoever believes in Him will not die but have eternal life.

Inappropriate? Big time!

2011-06-11T23:20:00.000+01:00

A while back I posted on "things not to say to prisoners". Today, for some reason, a connected memory came to mind. I think it was because I have a new mobile phone, which I'm trying to get to grips with, and I was thinking about ringtones. Anyway, in the Olden Days when I started as a prison chaplain I was allowed to take my mobile phone into the jail. Nowadays if I tried that I could end up in prison myself!

I remembered today about a time when I had my mobile phone in my handbag in the filing cabinet in my office. A prisoner was in the office with me, pouring out his many troubles to me, when my phone rang. I hurried to the filing cabinet to turn the ringtone off but the handbag in question was one of those with nine hundred different zipped compartments in it. Could I find the phone? No. Not until this whole ringtone had been played. Can you imagine ANYTHING less appropriate to be playing in the presence of a lonely, homesick guy who of course was not himself allowed to have a mobile phone. In my defence the only thing I can say is that it was my dear children rather than me who had set the bloomin' ringtone. "Oops!" was about all I could say...

Happy 90th birthday to my grandpa Prince Philip.

2011-06-09T22:37:00.000+01:00

Prince Philip is 90 years old tomorrow (happy birthday, sir - in case (highly unlikely obviously) you are reading this). Tonight BBC1 have been showing a program about him which I've seen a little bit of, and quite enjoyed. I think whether someone is royal or not, if they have lived for nine decades they merit our respect and their stories are almost automatically interesting. Fiona Bruce was the journalist with the tricky job of interviewing him for the program - and it was tricky. He's clearly the master of avoiding talking about himself, even though his childhood, for one thing, was so strange and difficult that it alone raises a lot of interest.

It's funny, but what I was mainly struck by whilst watching the program was that my emotional reaction to Prince Philip was the sort of warmth I would feel towards any elderly relative. But he is not a relative. I've never met him and don't expect to.

I am not particularly a royalist. Nor am I definitely anti-royalist. I am currently in an "undecided" category politically. Do I want Scottish independence? Don't know. I quite like Alex Salmond but would I like President Salmond? Don't know.

The warmth that I felt towards Prince Philip as I watched the bit of the program that I saw seems to me to be evidence that the royal family have, for many of us, become in our minds like our relatives. I don't watch soap operas (I'm sixth of six in line for the remote control in our house but I'm not sure I'd watch them anyway so don't weep for me) but I gather that people have the same feeling towards the soap characters.

It's interesting, this feeling. We become so familiar with characters on television and in the magazines that they become like our family members.

Isn't it strange that we can feel a family feeling towards people we've never even met?

Amazing Grace - watching this will be the best two minutes of your day.

2011-06-06T09:09:00.000+01:00

I just love this wee video, brought to my attention by my friend Ross. It says it all.

Should prisoners have access to the internet?

2011-06-03T23:15:00.000+01:00

Prisoners do not have access to the internet and many people think that this is just as it should be. The longer I work in jails, though, the more I think that, looking at the big picture, this is probably unhelpful.

There are good reasons for not allowing the prisoners access to the internet and I acknowledge that, but I believe the arguments on the other side should carry a greater weight.

Firstly, any "privilege" that is given to prisoners immediately and without fail generates negative headlines in the tabloids. Journalists and many of the public - and I do understand this - would complain that it is most unfair that those who have broken the law should get something paid for out of the public purse that the law-abiding struggle to afford.

Secondly, there is the danger of furnishing criminals with the ability and the opportunity to increase their criminal activity. There are two ways that this could happen.

1) A prisoner previously computer-illiterate who gains expertise on the internet and then manages to secure a mobile phone (these are illegal in jail but there is a trade in them and every now and then a mobile phone, a recharger, or a SIM card is found) could use his new-found communication skills for criminal purposes. Drug dealers can carry on lucrative business empires from within prison, for example. Prisoners on remand can intimidate witnesses. And so on.

2) A prisoner may use his new-found computer skills when he gets out of prison. Indeed he may go the whole way and develop an interest in computer crime. How is the prison to know why the prisoner is keen on participating in education? It could be (a) a soft option to get out of more physical work parties such as the cookhouse, (b) part of a grand plan for building the criminal career already embarked on, but it could also be (c) a genuine desire to get educated and (d) a determination to get a job and go straight on release.

There are arguments for allowing prisoners access to the internet and, as I say, they seem to me to outweigh the arguments on the other side.

The truth is that many prisoners (I suspect most) really want to keep out of trouble in the future. Many of them are highly motivated, and have worked very hard during their sentence. They have tried to address their offending behaviour and the reasons for it. They have fought and won (at least for now) their addiction battle. They have done what they could do repair their family relationships. But as the time draws near for release they are often apprehensive and feel unprepared. Or - perhaps worse - others don't feel unprepared but feel supremely and misguidedly confident that all will be straightforward when clearly it won't.

We who have not been out of circulation at Her Majesty's pleasure over the past years know that the internet is a huge part of modern life and can only imagine how handicapped we would be by having missed out on it all.

I suspect that even the most low-paid, ordinary, unglamorous job on the outside may involve you being able to send emails to your employer and receive them in return. Being unable to do so will have a real impact on your employability on release.

Prisoners' families will be internet-literate and this will add to the prisoners' feeling of distancing from them. Ex-prisoners who know about Google, for instance, will be able to help their kids with their homework projects, and prisoners who know about social networking will be able to know more about what their children are up to.

By no means all prisoners, even if they are highly motivated, will secure employment on release. They will be most likely be living on a very low income, perhaps just state benefits. The internet offers great ways to save money. I am currently expecting the delivery of a pair of curtains for my son's bedroom. I bought them on E-bay and although they are new and still in their packaging they are pre-owned and therefore I was able to buy them for well below half their value. Guys coming out of prison could do with knowing about such a thing.

Should prisoners have access to the internet? I would say that they should.

Certainly they shouldn't have limitless unsupervised access to the internet. I think we might feel irked by the idea that they were watching pornography for example, or that they were controlling their drugs empire, or bullying their partners. Schools, though, can set up restrictions and limitations to what the kids can access and the prisons could do likewise.

I'm not advocating they should get to blog, or use social networking sites or be posting comments on newspaper online sites, but I am arguing for basic internet familiarity, including emails, shopping for bargains, booking tickets, googling facts and so on to be a major part of the education program on offer in our prisons.

Whether you love or hate prisoners (fellow Christians reading this will know which God expects them to do) you should want to see them rehabilitated, if not for their sake then for the sake of potential future victims which could include you and yours. In the year 2011 I think we need to fact the fact that full reintegration back into society will for most involve familiarisation with the internet.

General Assembly and Gay Clergy.

2011-05-31T00:12:00.000+01:00

Of all the subjects discussed at the General Assembly last week, the one which has attracted the most interest from the media has been, inevitably, the one relating to sex. People sometimes wrongly accuse the church of being obsessed with the subject. I don't think this is at all fair, for two reasons:

(1) The Church does a HUGE amount of good work in communities all over Scotland and with vulnerable groups. It is really thrilling at the Assembly to hear the reports of all the work going on, and I am immensely proud to be part of an organisation doing so much for the disadvantaged and needy. Are the press interested in those things? Do they get reported? Not really, considering how much there is to admire. "Crossreach", the social care arm of the Church of Scotland does a lot of truly wonderful stuff. So does the "Guild" (formerly "Womens Guild"). So does the Department of World Mission, the HIV/Aids project, and so much else at a national level. On top of this, in every city, town and village all over Scotland, local congregations are doing a phenomenal amount of good in terms of social care and community projects. These things are done in the name of Jesus, and are all ways in which Christians communicate in very practical ways the unconditional love of God for everyone. It is not really our fault as a denomination if the media are not sufficiently interested in these activities.

(2) The main message of the Church is not a message about sex, or indeed about any other moral or legal or lifestyle issue. The main message of the Church, often called the Gospel (which means "good news") is this: God loves the world so much that, rather than allowing people to receive the punishment that their sins deserve (and make no mistake we are ALL sin-full), he allowed his own son, Jesus, to take the punishment for us on the cross. Jesus became a once-and-for-all sacrifice so that WHOEVER (including prisoners of course) believes in him will not die (though their body does) but have wonderful eternal life. In Prisonworld, prisoners will interpret the word "sin" to mean their index offence; I sometimes find myself at services in prison having to break the bad news that there's a lot more to their sin than their crimes. Jesus said, for example that the most important two commandments were to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbour (our fellow human being) as much as we love ourselves. We ALL break them, and probably several times a day. We all need to hear the Gospel and our sex lives are marginal to that.

Having begun with that preamble I want to say something about the issue that has attracted the media attention because it IS an important one.

Should the Christian church have homosexuals among its leadership? This has been the subject of much debate.

The traditional point of view in my denomination and many others has been that (a) God loves every human being unconditionally, (b) God sees heterosexual marriage as the only appropriate place for sexual activity, (c) God loves heterosexuals, lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transexuals equally, and (d) it is in no way a sin to be homosexual in orientation.   In view of (a) to (d), therefore, ministers were traditionally expected to be either in a heterosexual marriage or else celibate.

Last week, the Church of Scotland General Assembly voted to consider the possible theological, ecclesiological and legal implications of moving away from this position towards allowing non-celibate gay people to become clergy.

What do I think of this?

To be honest, I am very sad.   This will probably shock my many LGBT friends and relatives because, I trust, you always have found (and I promise always will find) me to be unconditionally accepting of you. I love you as much as I did. I love you unconditionally.   However, I also love the Lord.

When I read the Bible it is abundantly clear to me that, whatever I personally may feel, GOD himself disapproves of homosexual practice (as well as heterosexual sin such as adultery etc too of course).   So what I think is irrelevant. I'm a sinner myself, as all who know me will testify. Therefore I am a poor judge of what is sin and what isn't. Just because something doesn't particuarly offend me doesn't mean it's not a sin. God is holy. God made the world.   Wee boys playing football will sometimes claim "It's my ball" and that will give them extra say in what the rules are. The world, shaped like a ball, is God's ball and he makes the rules. We don't need to love them immediately but need to accept them and work towards understanding why God wants things that way.

The debate at the General Assembly a week ago today resulted in a decision to move in a "trajectory" in the direction of allowing practising homosexuals to be ministers. This is against the will of the membership as surveyed by a Special Commission questionnaire. This is against the will of the majority of the worldwide church with whom we do want to retain a real sense of unity. But more importantly it is clearly against Scripture.

It is this departure from Scripture that is really what upsets many of us.   I cannot begin to put into words how grieved I am that people genuinely think that people in my position are homophobic. That is SO not true. For a living, I love people in spite of their lifestyles. For the avoidance of doubt let me be clear that I am not comparing homosexual behaviour with a life of crime. My point is that I love people in spite of their lifestyles. If I love the criminal then obviously I love the non-criminal. I know my heart and I know that I love everyone unconditionally and that clearly and definitely includes my LGBT friends and family. My greatest fear, indeed, in posting this blog (which has been a decision reached after a lot of thought) is that you guys will be hurt and misunderstand where I am coming from as a rejection of you.

I'm aware that some readers may want to say, "But, AnneDroid, are you saying that only ministers who are without sin at all can be ministers?" No! Of course I'm not saying that. No one is without sin, least of all me.   Ministers are human. However, there is a higher standard expected of them than of others and that is just the way it is. Were I to carry on a series of extra-marital affairs (I'm not planning to - I like what I've got) I would not have committed an offence against the law of the land but I would expect the church to take a negative view of it. Even the least observant among you wouldn't need to look at me long to be suspicious that I am guilty of the sin of gluttony. I am, and I fight it with varying degrees of earnestness, but what I wouldn't ever do is try to persuade others that gluttony was not a sin but in fact a great blessing. That's an important distinction.

Some of my fellow clergy who share my understanding of God's will have already decided to leave the Church of Scotland. Others are still thinking they may well do so. I'm not going anywhere. My dad, his brother, my mum's uncle and his uncle before him were CofS ministers.  Perhaps that's got something to do with my desire to stay, I don't know. But I don't feel God's leading to leave. Nor does Him Indoors. So we're staying.

You can never have too many brothers and sisters!

2011-05-27T00:20:00.000+01:00

This week I've been commuting to Edinburgh to the Church of Scotland General Assembly, which is our annual week-long business meeting (with breaks to eat and sleep of course). A quarter of the denomination's ministers attend each year, and this is my third assembly in the thirteen years since I was ordained, since I had a bit of time off for childbearing/childrearing/good behaviour.

Him Indoors, who is also a minister (not in Prisonworld but in a local church congregation) has also been attending this year. It's been really lovely to be there together. After nearly eighteen years of marriage I still quite like being with him... which is good. :)

One of the lovely things about the General Assembly is that you get to see friends you haven't seen for a while. That's important as well as what happens in the actual debating chamber. We all need fellowship and encouragement. I love my (biological) brother (and my lovely brothers and sisters in law) very much but it's a wonderful thing as a Christian to be part of a worldwide family in which every Christian one meets is "a brother from another mother" and "a sister from another mister". I've been a Christian so long that I can't remember anything else, but my hunch is that those who're not Christians just can't begin to imagine this brotherliness/sisterliness feeling. It's great, and I've enjoyed that aspect of this week very much.

As to what's happened in the actual debates, that's important and I'll come back to it in the next couple of days, but meantime I just want to give thanks to God for the encouragement it's been to see friends I haven't seen for ages, and also that I've made a bunch of new friends too. By tomorrow that may include the waiters and waitresses of JimmyChungs at Waverley who have benefitted a lot from the presence of some of us this week!

Ecumenism/Inter-faith issues in Prisonworld? You gotta laugh...

2011-05-26T23:15:00.000+01:00

I was amused to hear this story today from a prison chaplain in another Scottish prison:

A prisoner asked him recently, "See they Muslim c***s? Are they Protestants or Catholics?"

Big Boys do Cry (and I blame myself).

2011-05-22T14:13:00.000+01:00

Recently at work it was my turn for my regular refresher self-defence training. I hope I never need it but it's good to be prepared.

In the middle of us all throwing each other about the gym I was suddenly struck by a funny thought. I was distracted at one point by thinking about a bereaved prisoner that I should go and see, and remembering how tearful he had been when I last saw him. That made me think that I should really get some more paper hankies as the box was empty. Neither of those were the funny thoughts (obviously).

What made me smile was the idea that I routinely need to buy paper hankies as one of the tools of my trade (along with teabags etc) and so the conclusion from that could be that perhaps I cause the guys to cry (by offering sympathy, love, prayers, etc) at a greater rate than anyone else in the prison. In other words, there I am, day by day, with some of the so-called "Scotland's Toughest" and I'm the one who brings on tears the most!

The day after I realised my handkerchief supply had run out, I was listening to another tearful prisoner. He was really crying and, to be blunt, his nose was producing a lot of output too. He badly needed a tissue but the only thing I had to give him was a (fresh) wiping up cloth like the one in the picture!

Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Hello long lost blog!

2011-05-11T00:01:00.000+01:00

Long time no blog, but think I will get it up and running again. Limited though my knowledge and understanding of Prisonworld is, I'm in there and I'm listening and learning every day. Most people in the world are not prisoners/prison staff/families of prisoners, and the big high wall with the barbed wire inevitably means that it is hard for the public to know what it's like in jail, especially given the Total Pile of Crap the tabloids feel free to print on the subject!

What's been happening recently?

Lots that I can't mention, as usual. But some thought-provoking stuff including:

1) reflections with chaplaincy colleagues from other jails about just what a weird environment we work in as ministers and how vitally important it is for us to support each other in prayer. I am the first to admit I am a sinner, albeit I know that God is at work in me sorting out the mess, but I still recognise that working full time in prison is to be a lot of the time in a real old cesspit of sin and the metaphorical stench can get to you after a bit.

2) the challenge of working as clergy and civil servants at the same time - trying to serve two masters - which of course the Bible says is impossible! I am a minister and I am an employee of the Scottish Prison Service. It's a struggle I believe is well worth the effort, but it is an effort sometimes. There is the constant danger of failing one side or the other of our twofold purpose.

3) the difficulty of having to watch what one says. In the Olden Days, it was often said that prisoners would fake religious conversion in order to improve their chances of parole. This may seem a ridiculous thing to say, but I do believe that one of the results of the secularisation of our society is that things have almost gone the opposite direction. I sometimes think that if a prisoner mentions his religious experiences, some staff are more likely to send him for a mental health check up than they are to be in some way impressed. Therefore, I suspect that we as chaplains also have to be careful in case we say things that, whilst totally acceptable in our churches, will be misinterpreted in Prisonworld. Here is an example - and let me be clear that I didn't say the thing that I wanted to. I was speaking to a prisoner I have got to know well whose victim was his child who died as a result of the crime. He is sorry about it and I have tried to be a support to him. He is unsure whether he believes in God or not, as are lots of people of course. On one occasion he announced very firmly that were the Lord to appear in front of him, that far from worshipping him, he would kick him in the b***s. What I would like to ask him, but think I can't is this: "I believe your child is in heaven. Wouldn't you like the chance to go there one day to be with that child whom you loved and to be able to say sorry?" If it were to be reported that I'd said that, though, what would happen? I don't know. Would I be disciplined? Possibly. In Churchworld that would be a perfectly reasonable question to explore.

4) Some of you may have heard that Rev David Wilkerson died recently following a car accident. His amazing book "The Cross and the Switchblade" (the first edition of which came out two years before I was born) was a favourite of mine when I was young. So was "Run Baby Run" by Nicky Cruz who appears in the former book. The news of David Wilkerson's death caused me to re-read these two books. I have found myself as stirred by them as I ever was, and would very much recommend them to anyone who's not read them yet. When I read these books the first time round, as a teenager, it never crossed my mind that I would end up working with people whose lives sometimes have sad similarities to those whom David Wilkerson was called to minister to.

5) The political landscape in Scotland and the UK has changed with last week's election. Dramatically and radically changed. It's exciting to feel like a part of history. I really do feel for those who have unexpectedly lost their seat after years of faithful service to their constituents but I also feel excited for the new recruits, some of whom did not expect to win and have suddenly had to resign from their jobs and make new plans. Although the Scottish National Party landslide was in the Scottish election, the consequences will be felt at Westminster too. Labour's strength in the British government has always been supported by the large number of labour seats in Scotland. Not so now.

6) The Church of Scotland, the protestant and presbyterian denomination I happen to belong to (although I'm really not a denominationalist by nature, just as I'm not party-political) has its General Assembly later this month. I am a commissioner. For those who don't know what I'm on about, the General Assembly is the Church of Scotland's annual business meeting. It lasts for a whole week. There are too many of us all to attend at once, so each minister and for each minister, one elder, serve on average once every four years. This year myself and Him Indoors, who is also a minister, are on duty as commissioners. One of the big issues which the media will be particularly interested in is the debate on whether or not practising homosexual clergy should be allowed to be ordained as ministers in the Church of Scotland. I can't say any more about that because a previous Assembly agreed that there would be a moratorium on public comment on the issue. I believe that has been a great blessing, as otherwise those on each side of the debate would be liable to fall prey to the temptation to air their opinions on the subject via the media which would soon descend into an unedifying spectacle.

7) Above all, my recent reflections have led me to realise that what I most need to be having in my life is the power of the Holy Spirit, and what I most need to be doing is seeking the Lord more fervently in prayer.

A tribute to Mary Gardner.

2011-03-25T16:39:00.000Z

This is a photo of Mary Gardner of Wycliffe Bible Translators. Her picture was on the front page of newspapers today because Mary was the victim of a bus bomb attack in Jerusalem on Wednesday.

It was my privilege to know Mary many years ago, at a time when I was considering whether I might become a Bible translator myself. Mary, at that stage, was just finishing her training and getting ready to go overseas to Togo, to begin translating the New Testament for the Ife people.

This was accomplished. Bible translation is a slow and laborious process but the Ife people got the New Testament in their own language in 2009.

Mary never married and had no children. She poured out the prime years of her life in the work she felt that God had called her to. Rather than rest on her laurels after translating the New Testament for the Ife people, she was then studying Hebrew in Jerusalem in order to continue on to the Old Testament. I remember her as a very gentle, soft-spoken, lovely young woman.

As it says on the Wycliffe website: "Worldwide there are over 300 million people who do not have access to the story of God's love for his people - the story of the Bible - in the language that they understand the best, their 'heart' language".

However, there are many dedicated people like Mary all over the world working to make sure that the Bible will be available in all languages. Today, I'm sure, many of them will be thinking of Mary's elderly parents, her siblings, her colleagues and the Ife people in their grief.

The Missionary Position.

2011-03-14T23:36:00.000Z

Many hundreds of years ago, when I was young and had yet to get involved with he who is now Him Indoors, I wanted to be a missionary.

To be honest, the first job I ever aspired to as a child was to be a bin lady. Note: bin lady not bin woman - I have standards. That was because I was fascinated (and still am, if you want to know) by bin lorries, or dust carts if you're from the other side of the pond. I love how they mash up the litter.

However, I soon changed ambition to being a missionary. I grew up near the David Livingstone memorial in Blantyre. While my contemporaries were idolising the Bay City Rollers, I was captivated by the story of David Livingstone. I had a book called "The Great Explorers" in which one of the chapters was about Dr Livingstone. One of the things that remained in my childish imagination was a picture (not, but not unlike, the one above) illustrating the assertion that David Livingstone died while in prayer.

When I left school I began studying medicine at university, and read more and more about being a missionary. However, my medical career was very short-lived and after two years at university I knew it wasn't for me. To tell the truth I'm so squeamish I couldn't even now watch a whole episode of Casualty. When I go to give blood I struggle even with the pin prick thing they do on your thumb to check you're not anaemic.

The missionary thing wasn't out of my system, though. A few years later, I became very interested in Wycliffe Bible Translators. In fact I completed some of the application process to become a translator and although in the end it wasn't God's plan for me I still take an interest in their work. Today I came across this fascinating gem in their prayer diary:

"Getting the Right Word.
Translators want to get the right word out! So they must ask the right question. For example, in order to translate “carry one another’s burdens”, the Koma translators in Ghana had to choose between mili (carry on the back), dogi (carry on the hip), vigi (carry on the shoulder) and chii (carry on the head)! So which word did they use? (Hint: What do Koma people carry where?). Please pray for translators who have to make difficult word choices to convey the right meaning.

Answer: Babies are carried on the back, toddlers on the hip; tools on the shoulder, and heavier items like water pots on the head. So they used chii".

This year is the 400th of the publication of the King James Bible in English - for a long time the most common English translation of the Bible. Whilst it remains popular, many of us now use a more modern translation. I like many of the modern translations, including the New Living Translation, the New International Version, the Good News Bible and others. Yet there are many peoples around the world who don't have a choice of translation as we do. Many don't even have one book of the Bible in their own language.

As we English-speakers mark the 400th anniversary of the King James Bible this year, let's remember and perhaps even give some of our money, or our prayers, in support of the efforts of Wycliffe Bible Translators and others to make sure that the good news gets to "the ends of the earth".

"Just as I am"... Give Him all you have!

2011-03-08T00:30:00.001Z

Luke 21:1-4 says, "While Jesus was in the Temple, he watched the rich people dropping their gifts in the collection box. Then a poor widow came by and dropped in two small coins.

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said, “this poor widow has given more than all the rest of them. For they have given a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she has.”

I happened to read these verses at tea-time in the prison tonight and was thinking about them an hour later when I was listening to a conversation between two prisoners. One of them was asking the other to help him write a C.V. for him to apply for a job on release. He admitted that he had never had a job in his life before (he's not particularly young but has been in and out of prison since he was a teenager). The guy he was asking to help him pointed out that there were lots of things he'd done in prison that he could mention in his C.V. and promised they would work on it together tomorrow.

I couldn't help making connections between my Bible reading and that conversation. Earlier in the day I was at a 4-hour long meeting at which I'd been marvelling at the intellect and gifts of many of the attendees.

(When I was a wee girl, I used to think it must be great to go to a "meeting". I wasn't very sure what a meeting was, but I wished that I could go to one. Now at the grand old age of 21... well okay, 45... I have been to lots of meetings and am considerably less enthusiastic!)

However, my experience of meetings, my experience of people and my experience of church has led me to the conclusion that it isn't what gifts you've been given that matters, it's what you do with them. The meeting I attended earlier today caused me to marvel at the combination of great gifts from God together with a commitment to serving Him. Wonderful!

A meeting I attended recently (in a different venue) was very different and caused me to reflect less cheerfully on the combination of great gifts and talents together with a lack of respect for God's ways. Not good!

The prisoner who wants to compile a C.V. may not have much to put in it with which to impress a secular human employer. The widow who put her couple of coins in the collection plate, however, apparently didn't have much to put in it to impress Jesus, yet she did impress Him. The important thing in the Christian life isn't how many qualifications and assets we have. The important thing is how willing we are to give God what we have.

God's far less interested in our ABILITY than He is interested in our AVAILABILITY.

1 Corinthians 1:27 says, "Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful."

Holy Jim; Him Indoors on Total Wipeout.

2011-03-07T23:00:00.000Z

Top of the Criminal Tree.

2010-12-24T00:09:00.000Z

We have seven and a half Christmas trees in our home this year, which I admit is kind of ridiculous. Three of them are little artificial ones in the 3 bedrooms occupied by our 4 kids. The Big One is in our sitting room and one is in our wee "family room". The latter is very exciting for me because it's the first real tree I've ever had! Some of the proceeds from it went to the homeless,which was a bonus. We have two tiny wee trees as mantlepiece decorations too. That's seven so far. The half tree is the one in the picture. We got it a number of years ago and it is literally half a tree which is designed to be wall mounted. As you see, we have it between our front door and the storm door.

I love Christmas trees.... and trees generally, actually.

There's a phrase that has cropped up from time to time in discussion with prisoners as a prison chaplain and that phrase is "top of the criminal tree". Prisoners are, like the rest of us, a diverse bunch of people. Some of them, though by no means all, are "career criminals" - their very identity is as a criminal. Their ambition has been to be top of the criminal tree. If it's violence-related, then part of this has been that they have striven to be seen as tougher, harder, scarier, more vicious and brutal than anyone else. (Sadly, this seems often to have had its origins in "care" where the only way to survive and thrive as a vulnerable child/young teenager was to be tougher than anyone else there.)

Top of the tree.... as I write this I'm glancing at the top of (my first real - did I mention that? Yippee!) Christmas tree. The top of our real tree is a long single "stem" whereas the artificial trees all taper more evenly, in a triangle shape. The top of a Christmas tree, especially a real one, is a lonely spot, when you think about it.

This hasn't afflicted me on previous Christmases but many times this December when I've looked at Christmas trees I've thought a lot about the phrase "top of the criminal tree" and remembered so many conversations I've had with prisoners - including some who're very notorious and whose crimes where heinous - who speak to me about how their ambition was to be top of the criminal tree. Yet when they got there they looked round and saw that, after all, it wasn't so fab. It was in fact a lonely place to be.

Some of these individuals genuinely regret the path they chose. Some of them want to reinvent themselves as "pro-social", as social workers would say, good guys. This isn't easy for various reasons, and not just their own temptations and proclivities. Once you've got the reputation for being a hard man it's not easy to persuade people that, actually, you don't want to be that person any more. You're quite likely to find yourself left alone up there, in a place you no longer want.

Please, this Christmas, if you're the praying kind, would you pray for the toughest, hardest criminals who've got to the to top of the criminal tree in their locale and realised it's not been what they expected - people who want to mend their ways. Thank you, friends.

And Merry Christmas, y'all! Thanks for dropping by my blog x

The Digital Story of The Nativity - fab!!

2010-12-14T12:48:00.000Z

Snow Day at Church.

2010-11-28T08:49:00.001Z

As I write, Him Indoors is trudging through the snow to tell any brave souls who turn up at church this morning that the services are cancelled. As well as snow we're having thunder and lightning. In November! I wish I'd never seen the film "The Day After Tomorrow"....

A story is in my head today that my dad told me years ago. There was once a minister in a rural parish who woke to see that there had been heavy snow. He at first assumed that no one would come but then decided (as Him Indoors has) that he should go to the church building just in case. His manse was next door to the church.

At the time the service was due to start, he looked out and saw that a solitary tractor was approaching driven by a local farmer.

"Well Jock", the minister said, "since it's just you and me, I think we'll cancel the service today".

"Oh now then, meenister, if I went out to feed the cattle and only one turned up I'd still hae to feed it".

The minister felt duly chastened and climbed into the pulpit and went ahead with the service - hymns, sermon, everything. At the end of the service, at the door, he said, "Was that all right for you, Jock?".

"Jings, meenister, if just one cow turned up I would hae to feed it but I wouldnae gie it the whale lot"!

Prisoners' Week 2010 - sixth post.

2010-11-27T00:47:00.001Z

One of the first prisoners I got to know - let's call him Fred - was a committed (no pun intended) Christian who was very strong in his faith indeed. He had become a Christian after his crime was committed but some years before coming into prison. This meant that he had had the opportunity to become well established in a church.

When he went to prison, the people in his church were supportive of his wife and also of him. He was visited, and prayed for, and written to. Some days he would get ten pieces of mail - very unusual, to put it mildly - and the letters would be from people in his church.

Because he was one of the first prisoners I got to know I didn't at that stage realise just how unusual he was. Most prisoners who are Christians have only come to faith since coming into prison. Most prisoners who are Christians don't have a church back home praying for them and loving and supporting them and their family.

I had read the book of Acts in the Bible many times in my life before becoming a prison chaplain, and meeting Fred, but I had never really noticed Acts 12:5 until then.

"So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him".

Peter, the gung-ho hothead of Jesus's disciples, that we love, who was devoted to Jesus and yet so human and flawed, prone to doubt and panic, once promised Jesus that he was ready to go to jail for Jesus or even to die for him. In the end he got the chance to do both, but not before he had panicked and denied three times even knowing Jesus at all. He was imprisoned for preaching about the risen Christ - but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. And Peter came out of prison unscathed, earlier than expected and with his faith intact. He had somewhere to go when he came out of prison, too, after Rhoda got over the shock, anyway.

In Prisoners' Week, the Church is encouraged to remember about, and pray for, all prisoners (as well as the victims of crime and staff). In this post I just want to add, though, that if you're a Christian, it is important that you remember that in prisons all across the country will be Christian prisoners who are your brothers and sisters in Christ. Many of them will be very new in their faith, with lots and lots to learn and very possibly much of the baggage and mess of their past still to face up to and deal with. They are not like Fred with a church back home to pray for them and to go to when they get out. They need your prayers!

Prisoners' Week 2010 - fifth post.

2010-11-25T23:02:00.000Z

Alexander Solzhenitsyn said: "If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them! But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"

Isn't that an interesting quote?

As a prison chaplain, I see one of my functions as to tell Churchworld about Prisonworld. Quite often I get opportunities, which I value, to speak to church groups about my work. And I have this blog - albeit unofficially and semi-anonymously.

I do these things because I am aware that by definition, prisoners are out-of-sight-out-of-mind, as I said earlier this week, and so it is hard for Christians to remember about them. Prisoners' Week serves an important purpose therefore. I am not blaming anyone. This time four years ago I had given very little thought in my life to prisons or prisoners at all!

However, reflecting on Solzhenitsyn's quote, I'm wondering if something else is happening too.

It's not just that we forget about prisoners. We perhaps choose to forget about them. Not consciously. Not on purpose. But in some mysterious way for our own welfare we do, perhaps.

It is well known that people in this country will give far more generously and willingly to animal welfare charities than to mental health charities. The mental health charities are also the poor relations to the physical health charities. One reason for this may be that animals are not just cute and fluffy but are "other" or "them". People who have cancer or blindness or deafness or have muscular dystrophy are to those of us who don't, also "other" or "them".

Mental health is a different thing, though. There are so many sliding scales. and most of us, deep down, would have to admit that we're on the scale in one direction or another. We're a little paranoid, or we're a little depressed, or we're a little prone to hysteria, or whatever. At least, we'd have to admit it if we thought about it. But by not thinking about it, we're protected from disquiet. This is a factor, perhaps, in our unwillingness to think much about mental health charities when it comes to allocating our giving.

Prisons can be conveniently compartmentalised, in a literal physical way, as separate from the rest of society. By doing so, we're able to feel that offenders are "other" or "them" and we are safely "us".

The reality is, though, that we're not so different from offenders. There's a sliding scale there too. Christians know it as sin.

Coffee & Custody.

2010-11-24T11:26:00.001Z

It was my privilege a few days ago to attend a coffee morning for Prisoners Week. It wasn't "in aid" of Prisoners Week in a money-raising sense. In fact it was a free coffee morning. It was for Prisoners Week though and was held in a prison. The prison is a low security one, or this wouldn't have happened of course, but members of local churches (and an imam from the mosque) were invited in to the prison to have coffee with the prisoners. The coffee and cakes were served by the chaplains and some of the prisoners. The rest of the prisoners who came were served along with the public.

Some prisoners' artwork was on display and one of the prisoners read a poem he had written. Also on display was some photos of some of the charity efforts that prisoners had been involved in.

What was lovely about the occasion was that, without any orchestration, the tables all filled up with a mixture of prisoners and public who were able to chat in a relaxed way.

The purpose of Prisoners Week is to remind folk in the churches to care about and pray for prisoners, and the chaplains who organised the event were hoping that this would help with that aim. Hopefully the attendees would go back to their churches and talk about the event. It was also hoped that the prisoners would have the opportunity to learn that there are people out there who care about them enough to give up a Saturday morning to travel to the prison to come in and chat to people they don't know, and that they - the prisoners - would sense that they were loved. Interestingly, a couple of the prisoners commented that they thought it was a great occasion and it was good to be able to show people that prisoners can be "nice" and "normal".

The prison where the coffee morning was held is for people at the end of their sentences and one of the privileges is that the guys can wear their own clothes. Because of this, a few of the public in attendance whispered to me (being a woman it was clear I was not a prisoner) "How do you know who's a prisoner and who's a member of the public?"

I loved that question. "Exactly!" and "Yussssss!", I thought.

Mortification.

2010-11-22T22:16:00.008Z

Yesterday I was blogging about the Scottish Prisoners Week theme of "More Than A Number".

It's not just the actual prisoner number that contributes to the "just-a-number-ness" of prison. There is obviously much more than that involved. When a prisoner begins his sentence, his first hours in the jail will see him "dehumanised" by the handing over of his own clothes and the donning of prison issue clothes.

In many prisons in Scotland the colour of your shirt will show which hall you have been assigned to (leading amongst other things to sex offenders being obvious to other prisoners, amongst whom they are very unpopular).

The dehumanising process of coming into prison - the "dog boxes" in the prison transport vans and the "dog boxes" in the prison reception, the allocation of a number and the change into prison uniform - known as "mortification" - is not accidental. It is deliberate and is to give offenders very firmly the message, "Right, then, sonny. You might have been a big hot-shot on the outside, top of your criminal tree. But in here you're just a number. You're the same as the rest of them. The sooner you buckle down and accept this new reality the better you will get on".

There is a certain apparent and appealing logic to this thinking, but in my humble opinion it's deeply flawed.

For every offender who needs to get this message, who's got too big for his criminal boots, I think there must be twenty others who already think they're nothing. (I've plucked the number twenty from the air - it might be a lot more). The point is that, however many offenders come in cocky and arrogant and needing humbled, many times more than that come into prison with a pick and mix of: mental health issues, addiction issues, past childhood abuse/neglect/trauma, illiteracy, social inadequacy, learning difficulties, bereavement issues and/or guilt. Far from needing mortification and dehumanisation, what they need is healing, restoration, hope, encouragement, education, healthcare, addictions support, and (to be radical) love .

Even those offenders who do need taken down a peg are unlikely to be transformed for the better by the mortification process. It will make the hard man harder - he will be angrier with the authorities by the end of it than he was at the start, and determine that he will not let the system break him (as he sees it).

More Than A Number is a great theme for Prisoners Week. It would make a great motto for all our social interaction actually.

I posted the following a few weeks ago but feel that it fits this post too and it's so well worth repeating I'm half-thinking of printing it off and framing it!

By Judge Dennis Challeen:

We want them to have self-worth
So we destroy their self-worth

We want them to be responsible
So we take away all responsibility

We want them to be positive and constructive
So we degrade them and make them useless

We want them to be trustworthy
So we put them where there is no trust

We want them to be non-violent
So we put them where violence is all around them

We want them to be kind and loving people
So we subject them to hatred and cruelty

We want them to quit being the tough guy
So we put them where the tough guy is respected

We want them to quit hanging around losers
So we put all the losers under one roof

We want them to quit exploiting us
So we put them where they exploit each other

We want them to take control of their lives, own problems and quit being a parasite...
So we make them totally dependant on us.

More Than A Number.

2010-11-22T11:08:00.006Z

This week is Prisoners' Week (see yesterday's post). In Scotland we have as our theme this year "More Than A Number". I think it's one of the best themes in years. It's surely obvious that people are more than a number, and yet I do think we need to remind ourselves frequently lest we miss the obvious.

We all have numbers these days. I must be known to "The Authorities" by many different numbers, including my passport number, my national insurance number, my driving licence number (and the number of points on it, ahem), my bank account number, my patient number, my Tesco number, my PIN numbers, my blood donor number, my work ID number, and so on and so on. I don't mind this really as it's an efficient way to run administrative systems.

However, in Prisonworld, the numbering system makes me a little uneasy. It's not that I think it's wrong or should be abolished. I can see it's administratively essential. But the unfortunate side-effect seems to me to be dehumanising psychologically.

The number you are given as a prisoner stays with you for the rest of your life - if you get another prison sentence you will be given the same number. This means that, as the cartoon suggests, the smaller the number a prisoner has the longer ago he first entered the system, although he may have been out of prison for years and years in between sentences.

Recently a prisoner returned to our establishment who was with us a year or more ago. When I looked at the list of "transfers in" and saw his surname, which is quite a common one, I realised that I knew it was him by his number. I don't particularly have a head for numbers (I've been known to forget my PIN number at the bank) so I was surprised to recognise a prisoner in this way.

Some prisoners don't seem to mind their number at all. I think it's sad that they've become so institutionalised that it is their "normal". Some even get their prisoner number tattooed on their body - occasionally with a barcode design!

Me? I don't want to lose my discomfort with the prisoner number. I'm not opposed to it. As I said, we've all got lots of numbers these days in lots of administrative systems. But in Prisonworld it is such a symbol of the one-size-fits-all dehumanising system that I will be quite content if I go through the rest of my time as a prison chaplain feeling slightly awkward every single time I have to ask, every day, "What's your number?"

Prisoners Week 2010

2010-11-21T21:24:00.005Z

(Cartoon courtesy of Jon Birch's "The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus".)

There are National Days and International Days and Special Weeks and Months and The Year of The Whatever all the time.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Prostate Cancer Awareness Month do a good job, for example. I was pretty scathing when I learned that Friday was World Toilet Day until I read what it said on the website, when I had a change of heart. There are some thought-provoking statistics there.

Today is the start of Prisoners Week.

Prisoners' Week isn't really for prisoners. When you're in prison, every week is prisoners' week. Prisoners' Week is designed to remind people, especially in Churchworld, of prisons and prisoners who are otherwise out-of-sight-and-out-of-mind. The Bible tells Christians that they must remember those in prison as if they were in prison themselves but, with the best will in the world, they are difficult to remember.
Society sends them to prison to get them out of the road and this is so successful that it is easy to forget about prisoners, although I always say to church groups that when they see the Reliance Van (our company car!) that can serve as a reminder to us to pray. Inside those vans will probably be prisoners - each in one of the "dog boxes" which are truly horrible.

The purpose of this post (you thought I'd never get there, eh?) is to encourage you to pray for prisoners this week. Sometimes that idea irks people and they say, understandably, "But what about the victims, AnneDroid?" What about them? It's not an either/or. It's not an either/or in the sense that we can and should pray for both prisoners AND victims. We don't have to choose! But also, it's not an either/or in the sense that sorting out who is a prisoner and who is a victim isn't always as simplistic as you might think. I would guess that most prisoners are also victims in some way or another - often back in childhood through abuse or neglect, but also in adulthood too.

If you would like to pray for prisoners, you can pray for them any time :)

But if you'd like to make a special effort to pray for prisoners in Prisoners' Week that would be totally fab.

Here is the Prisoners' Week prayer from the website:

Lord, you offer freedom to all people.
We pray for those who are captives in prison
and those who are affected by or involved in their imprisonment.
Break the bonds of fear and isolation that exist.
Support with your love: prisoners, their families and friends,
prison staff and all who care.
Heal those who have been wounded by the activities of others,
especially the victims of crime.
Help us to forgive one another, to act justly, to love mercy,
and walk humbly together with Christ
in his strength and in his spirit now and every day.
Amen.

(Of course you can use your own words instead if you like...).

The AMAZING story of Jacob de Shazer.

2010-11-17T22:35:00.004Z

We've been very blessed at our church over the last year by the presence of "Proby The Second", our lovely probationer Paul, who - sadly for us but not for his future congregation - is about to leave us for pastures new, with his lovely wife and family.

Anyway I was so impressed with the story he told us on Sunday as part of our Service of Remembrance for those lost in warfare, that I asked if I could re-tell it here.

It was about Jacob de Shazer who I confess I'd never heard of. He was a bomber, who as part of America's retaliation against the Japanese for Pearl Harbour, set off to bomb the Japanese. He describes how he was full of bitterness in his heart and that, as far as he was concerned, the more Japanese he killed the better. However, he ran out of fuel and had to parachute - into the hands of the Japanese who held him as a prisoner of war, in very grim conditions indeed.

After two years' harsh imprisonment, he came into possession of a Bible and started to read it. He was so affected that he became a Christian. Romans 10:9 which says "If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" impressed him particularly and he never looked back, knowing from then on that God was real and "we can't hide a thing from him" and then "the hatred went out of my heart". All his hatred for the Japanese vanished - an act of God without doubt.

After Japan surrendered and the war was over, he was flown back to America. He finished college then went back to Japan in 1948 as a missionary. Amazing!

Lots of Japanese people became Christians, partly through the ministry of Jacob de Shazer, whose return to Japan astonished them in the circumstances.

Undoubtedly the most remarkable and significant convert, Mitsuo Fuchida, who read a tract about Jacob de Shazer's experience and then went to the Bible and became a Christian (and a friend of De Shazer), had been the leader of the attack on Pearl Harbour.

That Fuchida and De Shazer should become friends after their past mutual hatred is amazing, isn't it?

By contrast it's a very little thing, and you may wonder at my mentioning it here, but for me this is a powerful illustration of something also very marvellous that I've seen recently. Last week it was my great privilege to be speaking at a meeting to raise awareness of Prisonworld amongst some church people. The previous night the previous occupant of the position of Her Majesty's Inspector of Prisons in Scotland, and a Prison Governor had been speaking. The day I spoke, I was preceded by a Prison Officer who gave a virtual tour (through powerpoint) of a Scottish maximum security jail. This officer happens to be a committed Christian. Between his talk and mine the audience heard the remarkable testimony of a former prisoner, whom I count it an honour to call a friend. Then I did a muddly kind of summing-up. What I appreciated more than anyone in the room, probably, was what a special thing it was for the prison officer and the (former) prisoner to be sharing the platform as brothers in Christ, as equals.

This link
will allow you the opportunity to hear Jacob de Shazer tell his own story, by the way. Not long, but well worth listening to.

Two minutes silence - 1919 in London and 2010 in a Scottish jail

2010-11-11T19:14:00.004Z

"The first stroke of eleven produced a magical effect.
The tram cars glided into stillness, motors ceased to cough and fume, and stopped dead, and the mighty-limbed dray horses hunched back upon their loads and stopped also, seeming to do it of their own volition.
Someone took off his hat, and with a nervous hesitancy the rest of the men bowed their heads also. Here and there an old soldier could be detected slipping unconsciously into the posture of 'attention'. An elderly woman, not far away, wiped her eyes, and the man beside her looked white and stern. Everyone stood very still ... The hush deepened. It had spread over the whole city and become so pronounced as to impress one with a sense of audibility. It was a silence which was almost pain ... And the spirit of memory brooded over it all." From the Manchester Guardian, 12th November 1919.

At a Remembrance Service today, it was my privilege to read that amazing newspaper excerpt along with two poems. The poems were Dulce et Decorum Est from WWI, by Wilfred Owen whose parents received the news of his death so near the end of the war just about the time that the Armistice was declared and This Place Called War by Joanna Carman about her brother going off to Afhganistan, which he survived only to be killed in Iraq at a later date. I also read a bit of Psalm 139 which I used so often at bedsides when I was a chaplain in the hospice movement but which seemed as appropriate here.

I always find Remembrance Services very moving and I'm so glad that 91 years after the first silence was observed, we are still doing it, and yet - as we all are - I'm obviously very grieved that the first world war did not after all turn out to be the "war to end all wars".

Today was only my second experience of taking part in a Service of Remembrance within a prison and both times I have found it to be moving in another way also. Prisonworld is, no doubt of necessity in some ways, a very them-and-us culture. Inevitably, the "screws" and the "cons" end up viewing each other (in practice rather than literally) almost as alien species, just as a result of the way the system operates. Even if you've never been in a prison, if you've watched the BBC series Porridge you'll know what I mean! Inevitably there are other camps too - senior management, the social work department, etc, working together but separate somehow. (I often think that chaplains are like Switzerland, "neutrals" in the midst - not because we're better people or anything, just that our job is different).

The Remembrance Service in prison is a very unusual and special occasion because we meet simply as human beings. There are ex-forces people among both the prisoners and staff, and both prisoners and staff may have relatives past and present who have fought or are fighting in war. All of us watch the news and all of us see, too often, the sad images of young people returning home from Afghanistan in a coffin.

There is something poignant and powerful about a prison Remembrance Service and I feel privileged to have been there today.

Prisoners - the right to vote?

2010-11-04T22:53:00.003Z

This newspaper article, like many others in the press this week deals with the recent news that the British government are going to have to face up to the European Court of Human Rights' decision that UK prisoners should be allowed to vote.

I am really delighted that UK prisoners are to be given the vote. In reality, I think, not all that many prisoners will want to exercise that right, and, even if they did, they aren't such a huge percentage of the population that the outcome of any election would be really affected.

However:

(1) Britain has traditionally smugly seen itself as being one of the "good guys" in terms of human rights but must walk the walk as well as talking the talk. If China (see the photo above) can be giving prisoners the right to vote, who are we to cast aspersions on their human rights record whilst being so proud of our own?

(2) What we in society want our prisoners to gain whilst in custody is a sense of responsibility. Yet what prison actually does is remove all responsibility from offenders, taking away almost all their power to decide anything, institutionalising them, and in fact infantilising them. Allowing and encouraging prisoners to vote would help a little to mitigate against this negative process, allowing them some autonomy and enabling them to feel like stakeholders in the society we want them to contribute to rather than damaging.

What has made me sad this week, though, is the tone of much of the "red top" tabloid coverage of this in the media, and also the government itself's presentation of the thing. It is being presented as a Bad Thing that we are having to give in, at last, very reluctantly, to this pressure when really we would much rather not. I find that sad and disturbing. (Mind you, and I'll leave my rant on this for another day) much of the media coverage on offenders upsets me, so I shouldn't be surprised.

Please Give Blood.

2010-09-28T21:27:00.001+01:00

This is my brother, his wife and their little boys, the youngest of whom is the inspiration for the plea to give blood.

International Prison Chaplains Association group photo 2010

2010-09-26T21:21:00.002+01:00

This photo was taken by Helmut Munikel and shows the group of delegates attending the International Prison Chaplains Association conference in Stockholm. The place we are standing in the photo is the City Hall in Stockholm, which is where the Nobel prizes are awarded each year.

By the way, I'm the one in the white top in the middle of the group who is looking the wrong way. Sums me up actually - I've always been "easily distracted". Many people are familiar with the Myers Briggs personality theory. I'm quite a fan of it actually. The first two times I did it were ten years apart and both times I came out as ENFP, which if you don't know Myers Briggs will mean nothing to you. Anyway, some wag has written a different prayer for each of the different sixteen personality groups and the prayer for the ENFP category is: "Dear Lord, ...oh look there's a bird...". This resonates with me, I have to confess and so I think it's quite appropriate that I should be looking the wrong way in the photo!

The conference was such a blessing to attend. I'm so grateful for the privilege of being able to go and still processing the experience in my mind. Above all the fellowship of more than 300 fellow chaplains from 69 countries was such an encouragement to me. At the end we had to stand around the meeting hall - all of us - holding hands for the final benediction. We sang "You raise me up" together, literally raising our arms whilst still holding hands at each chorus. Normally such an occurrence would seem to this worldly, hardened, heavy-rock-loving cynic to be a total cheese-fest but on this occasion I was moved to tears. I was holding hands on my right with a Northern Irish prison chaplain and on my left with Patriarch Bartholomew in full regalia. Normally, I work either alone or in a team of two (my Roman Catholic colleague is part time) and so it was incredibly encouraging and uplifting to be reminded that I'm part of a worldwide body of prison chaplains, only a very few of whom were at the conference of course, who are my brothers and sisters in Christ with the same passion as I have to see prisoners meet God and share my testimony (and that of the writer of the hymn "And can it be"): "My chains fell off, my heart was free. I rose, went forth, and followed thee".

Isn't this awesome?

2010-09-06T22:29:00.001+01:00

Our good friend Nathan, who is a very talented guy, made this film. I think it is amazing. His sister Sarah makes her debut as the star - quite a talented actress it turns out. Enjoy.

International Prison Chaplains Association conference, Stockholm 2010, part two. Conference Declaration.

2010-09-02T12:10:00.003+01:00

Conference Declaration
DECLARATION OF THE 6th WORLDWIDE CONFERENCE OF THE INTERNATIONAL PRISON CHAPLAINS’ ASSOCIATION

August 20-25, 2010
Clarion Hotel, Stockholm
Sweden

The 6TH International Prison Chaplains’ Association Worldwide Conference held at the Clarion Hotel in Stockholm, Sweden from 20-25 August 2010, attended by 320 participants from 69 countries representing all regions in the world, with the theme ”Forgotten People”

Bearing in mind the wonderful biblical stories that reveal the unconditional love of God and His Mercy and Compassion and who fulfils His promises;

Considering that the 25th year of IPCA is a time of thanksgiving and gratefulness for the blessings that it receives, it is challenged to proclaim justice that heals and restoration to the prisoners, to the victims and to the community.

Recalling the various international and national standards on the treatment of persons deprived of their liberty and in particular the laws that recognize the right to life, the dignity of the human person and the laws affecting the youth.

Coming together as one community under the guidance of the spirit committed to uniting, encouraging and equipping a global network of prison chaplains; and pursuing the creation of a better environment for those affected by crime, having deepened our solidarity and having been awakened to a more creative way of doing prison ministry;

Being deeply concerned with the increasing urgency of the need to revitalize our prison ministry programs to respond in pro-active ways to the following issues and concerns:

– THE PATHETIC SITUATIONS IN THE PRISONS IN MANY COUNTRIES
– THE DESPERATE AND RETRIBUTIVE SYSTEM OF OUR CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEMS
– THE CONDITION OF THE CHILDREN IN CONFLICT WITH THE LAW
– THE DEATH PENALTY ISSUE
– THE DEARTH OF PROGRAMS FOR HEALING AND RESTORATION

Observing the common issues and concerns presented during the conference, we especially take note of the following violations of the rights of the persons deprived of liberty in many countries:

– CONGESTION, POOR HYGIENE, VENTILATION AND FOOD IN PRISONS
– NON-SEPARATION OF YOUTH OFFENDERS FROM ADULT OFFENDERS.
– HARSH DISCIPLINE, PUNISHMENT AND TORTURE
– PROLIFERATION OF DRUGS AND OTHER SUBSTANCE ABUSE.
– PROSTITUTION IN PRISONS AND SEXUAL ABUSE
– LACK OF ACCESS TO A GOOD DEFENSE OF THE CASES
– CORRUPTION IN THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM NOT TO MENTION THE BIASES AND DISCRIMINATION AGAINST VULNERABLE SECTORS OF SOCIETY
– LONG SENTENCES AND LIFE SENTENCES
– EXECUTIONS AND THE DEATH PENALTY
– IMPACT ON THEIR FAMILIES
– INCREASING NUMBER OF FOREIGN PRISONERS DUE TO DRUG TRAFFICKING AND LARGE SCALE MIGRATION TRENDS.

Believing that the problems of the prison situation are far more serious now than at any other time in the long history of our involvement in prison ministry.

Feeling an inescapable responsibility to bring to a higher form of struggle the need for a renewed solidarity among all those working towards a more humane treatment of prisoners and building an environment where conversion and reconciliation can happen.

We, the 320 Prison Chaplains and Prison Workers:

• CALL UPON the government of each country to give high priority in improving prison environments and ensure the observance of the UN Standards, Principles, Covenants and Recommendations on the Treatment of Prisoners, the “Forgotten People”;

• CALL UPON all churches and other agencies, to take effective steps to respond to the needs of those affected by crime.

• CALL UPON the MEDIA to report accurately and truthfully news on criminality and avoid sensationalism.

• URGE NGOs and Government agencies who are involved in the care of the forgotten people to constantly meet for networking and strong collaboration.

• RE-ITERATE our plea to our church leaders to sincerely address the emerging concerns of the forgotten people, especially in assigning ministers as prison chaplains and in setting up structures that will pull together resources of the community in their service.

• REALIZE THE URGENT NEED to re-assess and re-formulate plans of action and programs reflected in our Declarations.

• REAFFIRM our option for Life and we appeal to leaders of government with laws on death penalty for a stay of execution and to promote the culture of life.

• URGE the leaders of all nations to seriously consider the question of the death penalty and to make a sincere effort to abolish it.

• CALL on all sectors that value life and have a high regard for it, to join efforts, to increase public awareness on the evils of the death penalty and to constantly pressure our governments to denounce cruel, inhumane and degrading punishment that diminishes the person.

As we go back and return to our prison mission areas we bring with us new sources of energy born out of our own experiences of being loved by God.

Equipped with this strength and refreshed by the interaction with co-workers, we are now more confident to be witnesses of God’s Unconditional Love to all, especially the FORGOTTEN PEOPLE - THE PRISONERS.

On the day that increased recidivism rates are announced...

2010-09-01T23:23:00.002+01:00

By Judge Dennis Challeen

We want them to have self-worth
So we destroy their self-worth

We want them to be responsible
So we take away all responsibility

We want them to be positive and constructive
So we degrade them and make them useless

We want them to be trustworthy
So we put them where there is no trust

We want them to be non-violent
So we put them where violence is all around them

We want them to be kind and loving people
So we subject them to hatred and cruelty

We want them to quit being the tough guy
So we put them where the tough guy is respected

We want them to quit hanging around losers
So we put all the losers under one roof

We want them to quit exploiting us
So we put them where they exploit each other

We want them to take control of their lives, own problems and quit being a parasite...
So we make them totally dependant on us

I heard this quote, from an American judge, at the conclusion of a very interesting program, "Think Tank", on Radio Scotland today. If you've got a spare half hour, and you can do it within the week before it's gone, I do recommend that you listen - click here. I've already listened to it twice today as it is along similar lines to some of the debates I heard at the IPCA conference in Stockholm, which I'm still processing in my little brain and will be blogging about soon.

International Prison Chaplains Association conference, Stockholm.

2010-08-21T07:33:00.002+01:00

Long time no blog!

Sometimes it´s quite hard to blog about prison chaplaincy - there is so much that is very interesting indeed but can´t really be said publicly! However I am currently somewhere so cool I´ve got to share it.

From 20 to 25 August it is the International Prison Chaplains Association conference in Stockholm and I am incredibly privileged to be here. It is particularly special as it is the organisation´s 25th anniversary. We arrived in time for tea last night and our first session was great to be part of. Quite often prison chaplains can feel quite isolated in their work, especially in smaller jails where there isn´t a big team. So it was cool to be with prison chaplains from Oceania, Asia, Africa, North, South and Central America as well as Europe. (I am the only chaplain from Scotland). Singing Amazing Grace with two or three hundred other prison chaplains is an experience I wish I could bottle to produce in the winter on a fed-up day.

There was a difference in price of 100 euros to get a single room so of course I opted to share. I was quite nervous about who I would be "twoed up with", as the prisoners say, but have been reflecting on how much more anxious must prisoners often be when they are made to share a cell with someone who may be dangerous/volatile/up to no good in some way. My Hungarian "cell-mate" seems lovely by the way.

Last night at tea I sat with a Canadian chaplain, two Cubans, two Africans and an Englishman; this morning at breakfast I sat with a Catholic chaplain from New Zealand and a French Canadian chaplain from Quebec. This afternoon I will be attending workshops - I´ve chosen one by the UK´s own Baaroness Vivien Stern and also one by Bruno van der Maat of Peru.

Corrieyairack Challenge.

2010-07-09T16:15:00.001+01:00

I have a wee album of photos (click on the photo of Him Indoors to see the rest) of some of those who did the Corrieyairack Challenge. It was a great experience. The money raised goes to an outdoor centre called Badaguish which caters for people with disabilities/special needs.

Ben Vrackie

2010-06-26T21:39:00.000+01:00

Blue-Eyed Boy, Flora the dog and I climbed Ben Vrackie today, beginning at Moulin, and adding a loop through Killiecrankie on the way home to make it 10 miles. Depressingly, I am exhausted and my feet are sore. The reason this is depressing is that a week today I have a 17 mile sponsored hike for the Corrieyairick Challenge, the first half of which is all uphill. Anyone have a quad bike I could borrow? Click on this photo and hopefully you'll see the photos - we have a really beautiful country.

Carn Aosda and The Cairnwell.

2010-06-22T22:09:00.001+01:00

I took three of our kids up Scotland's two easiest Munros on Saturday. The reason they're easiest is that although they are the height of Munros, the car park is already quite high. Blue Eyed Boy renamed Carn Aosda as Ben Asda so of course it made sense to rename The Cairnwell as Ben Tesco. The mountains themselves bear all the scars of their winter use as a ski resort so aren't very pretty in the summer, but the views of surrounding hills and mountains are great. It was very windy indeed, and there was a fair amount of whining on the way up, particularly from Penultimate Child and Youngest Child but it was all forgotten of course on the way down. Flora the dog had a fab time as usual. If you click on the picture on the right you'll see the wee album of photies.

Loch Turret and Ben Chonzie

2010-06-12T19:00:00.000+01:00

On Thursday I did another walk, alongside Loch Turret and then up Ben Chonzie (my second ever Munro). Just Flora and me, although on the top of Ben Chonzie I met two people I'd spoken to on Schiehallion last Saturday! It was a beautiful day really. Click on the picture here and (hopefully) you'll see the album of photos. And I do have a perfectly reasonable explanation for having a miniature of whisky with me - it's to do with my next-door-neighbour actually.

Schiehallion

2010-06-12T00:35:00.001+01:00

Last Saturday I climbed my first Munro, Schiehallion. Here are the photos (click on this one and you should access the album). It was a beautiful day, and were I fitter, it would have been perfect. Instead it was a struggle, but it left me feeling nicely virtuous! We really have a beautiful country here in Scotland. Flora was my companion for the journey. The last part of Schiehallion is a scramble across boulders. I hadn't realised that and wondered what I would do if the dog fell and was injured, seeing as I can barely lift her, never mind carry her down a mountain. However, I think her low centre of gravity and four legs make her as nimble as a mountain goat and she was fine.

"I have a dream" - in Scotland, in 2010.

2010-05-26T22:52:00.005+01:00

In this country we have moved a long way from the mindless ignorance of the past which I am just old enough to remember, in which people who were black, Asian or Chinese would be described in slang terms which they found offensive but which people didn't realise were wrong, and which were used by the most decent of folk. Certainly it was prejudice but at the ignorance end of the scale rather than the hatred end of the scale. I am so glad that we have, in this country, moved such a long way beyond that in my lifetime. I'm not saying we're there yet, but we've come a long journey and that's great.

When I was a student, I worked in a Chinese takeaway and got to know the guys, who were from Hong Kong. The guys who ran our local shop at the time were Pakistani Muslims whom I got to know well, too. I don't think a single one of our four children were delivered by a white British person and I couldn't care less (incidentally I deeply LOVE all those who were involved in the delivery of my children, even though I couldn't name them now!)

As I say, I'm tremendously grateful that we have moved so far as a culture. It was a joy to me that the BNP did so disastrously at the General Election. I am pleased that our kids are being brought up properly with regards to tolerance and respect (and better even than tolerance and respect, they barely even notice the colour of people's skin).

However, it has been bothering me recently that those of other cultures who don't look any different from the Scottish masses, in other words who have white skin, are still being subject to racial abuse.

Two examples are on my mind at the moment, particularly. I saw the teeshirt on the left on a website which sells teeshirts and hoodies with funny slogans (I fancied a new hoodie with a funny slogan but haven't found The One yet). The old me wouldn't have given this one much thought. However, I know a number of travellers, and am in general quite interested in the gypsy culture, perhaps because I love my caravan and could live in it if I was a single person. They have made me aware of how resentful they are, quite rightly, when they are called "pikey" or "gyppo" and when they are assumed all to be thieves. The Romany people, which some, thought not all, travellers, descend from, are an ethnic group who were treated brutally by the Nazis, who have their own language, and who should not be subjected to racism. No one should be subjected to racism.

I said there were two examples bothering me. The other one is the anti-English vitriole that Scots feel free to give vent to, especially, but not only, around football. In 1990, my friend Jean and I went to Turkey on holiday (pre-kids, back when I had a life). The Turkish people are generally friendly but we became aware that they particuarly liked Scottish people. Eventually we asked about that, and we were told that it was because if England play Turkey at football, Scottish holidaymakers will invariably support Turkey - which they of course like. "Anyone but England" is not, when you examine it, really acceptable though, is it?

Him Indoors and I grew up with the "Anyone but England" notion, the same as nearly all Scots. We are ashamed to admit that it's only in the last couple of years that we've even begun to feel vaguely uncomfortable about it. Seeing as poor old Scotland hasn't made it to the World Cup finals in South Africa, we intend to support England. This has attracted some derision, but we can cope! I was struck by this comment on Him Indoors's Facebook page by That Hideous Man: "In a year's time I will have lived in Scotland as long as I did in England. About the only thing I dislike about this country is the pitiful, and pathetic anti-English racism that rears its ugly head every time a ball-game starts. If you ask me, its a blight on an otherwise wonderful nation..." A couple of days later, I was told virtually the same thing by an English member of staff at work.

Is it just banter? That's what we're told. Whether it's anti-"Pikey" or anti-English, it's just a harmless bit of banter. But it's not harmless if it causes needless offence.

We've travelled such a long way in my lifetime in terms of our racial tolerance, but we're not there yet. We have to remember that all races should be treated with respect, even if their skin is the same colour as ours.

These are the two examples that are on my mind at the moment. But I could have mentioned the apparent acceptance in the media of hatred of the French, or of poking fun at red-headed people ("gingers") and don't get me started on bigotry (when I rule the world, Rangers and Celtic will be abolished. Glasgow United will be formed, and the spare players donated to Airdrie United). Don't get me started on sexism either - strong men are admired but strong women are despised as "ball-breakers"!

Jesus said we should love one another as He has loved us.

You know you can talk to me...

2010-05-24T17:28:00.005+01:00

I had to interview Him Indoors while he pretended to be a prisoner in need of tea and sympathy. This was for an assignment for a counselling course I've been doing. I am hopeless at role play and try to avoid it at all costs, usually, but by the end of this I was quite believing that the man in front of me was not in fact my husband but a fictional prisoner called Willie Ross worried about his 14 year old stepson going off the rails and blaming his wife for being too soft with him. http://www.sendspace.com/file/xi6z2t This is the second half of our counselling session.

A Very Long Life Well Lived.

2010-05-16T20:37:00.006+01:00

My grandmother died earlier this month. She was 103. On Wednesday we had a lovely funeral service and celebrated a long life well lived. She was a very remarkable woman. Brought up as a farmer's daughter, studying at university in the days when not all young women had such an opportunity, a life as a primary teacher and a wife and mother (of my mother), she was remarkable for her character. She had a phenomenal memory (I wish I'd inherited even half of her capacity to remember people and funny stories), she was a "grafter" who found it harder to relax than to work (I am the exact opposite, unfortunately) and she had wonderful honour and integrity and goodness.

Her faith was lifelong and it was appropriate that her funeral service was held in the same church she had worshipped in since the age of five when the family moved to the area. Of course she never lost "incomer" status, technically, as she wasn't born in the village! My parents, brother and I lived with her for quite a number of years, and benefitted from, amongst other things, the soup that she made EVERY day. We called her the "Soup Dragon" - behind her back obviously - after a character in the old BBC television children's program "The Clangers". Her soup was great, as was the clootie dumpling she always made for anyone's birthday, and the pavlova that appeared if we had visitors.

Having a member of the family live for 103 years is an enormous privilege. I have been so much more abundantly grounded (can you be abundantly grounded?) in stories of my heritage and I'm also very glad that our kids are all big enough to remember their great gran.

I've been thinking, too, about what it means to have been around since 1907 in terms of the changes there have been in the world since then. I can't quite get my head round what it must have been like to live through such changes. I'm old enough to remember the first computers people had in their houses (the ZX81 for example) and when calculators came out. I remember when there was no such thing as videos, never mind DVDs. My children can't imagine how we functioned without mobile phones. I saw the first moon landing on television (I wasn't even at school, I want you to know) and I was at the launch of the QE2 (in my pushchair). But compared to the changes and the events that my gran lived through, this is nothing!
Through Google Images I've been looking at some photos of 1907, such as this car, a Ford Model R (the famous Model T was yet to come), and this tram at Edinburgh's Tollcross.

And I've been looking at 1907 in general (I love t'internet). For example, in March 1907, a month before my gran was born, the parliamentary elections in Finland were the first in the world with woman candidates, as well as the first elections in Europe where universal suffrage was applied. 1907 saw the birth of John Wayne and Daphne du Maurier. It was the year in which Robert Baden Powell led the first scout camp (on Brownsea Island in England) and the year in which the first taxicabs with taxi meters began operating (in London) as well as the year of the second Hague Convention.

My gran was born in the decade in which Orville and Wilbur Wright were getting us off the ground, and in which Einstein and Freud were proposing theories of relativity and psychology respectively. Picasso introduced cubism to the world the year my gran was born and plastic was invented two years later. For some reason the fact that my gran was born two years before the invention of plastic amazes me more than anything!

I knew my gran wouldn't last for ever, and she was ready to go, but an irrational bit of me secretly thought that as she'd always been there, she always would be. So I'll miss her, but I'm glad she's free at last from her frailty, and enjoying eternal life instead.

A Little Bit of Porridge.

2010-04-15T22:36:00.002+01:00

Are prison chaplains the answer to the prayers of prisoners? I like this a lot - it's very funny.

This clip doesn't show that the outcome, for attacking the chaplain, is solitary confinement - exactly what the prisoner was needing!

Today isn't for the Faint Hearted

2010-03-24T22:37:00.009Z

Christmas Is Really For the Children, by Steve Turner

Christmas is really
for the children.
Especially for children
who like animals, stables,
stars and babies wrapped
in swaddling clothes.
Then there are wise men,
kings in fine robes,
humble shepherds and a
hint of rich perfume.

Easter is not really
for the children
unless accompanied by
a cream filled egg.
It has whips, blood, nails,
a spear and allegations
of body snatching.
It involves politics, God
and the sins of the world.
It is not good for people
of a nervous disposition.
They would do better to
think on rabbits, chickens
and the first snowdrop
of spring.

Or they’d do better to
wait for a re-run of
Christmas without asking
too many questions about
what Jesus did when he grew up
or whether there’s any connection.

It's Friday, but Sunday's Coming!

2010-03-24T22:37:00.006Z

My friend Norma's mum and dad were in Benidorm recently and saw this. Amazing, isn't it?

Religion Causes Wars.

2010-03-24T22:37:00.003Z

I've a fair amount of sympathy with the "religion causes wars" argument that is used so frequently by atheists. Obviously there's truth in it. Lots of terrible atrocities have been committed in the name of religion.

However I don't think it's ultimately persuasive. Christianity being the religion I am most familiar with, I'll use it as my example.

I come from a part of the UK where there is a lot of sectarianism. People from birth are told they are Protestant or Catholic. This, to me, is not religion at all but politics and tribalism. In my experience, those who are ACTUALLY Christians (whether Protestant or Catholic) are not involved in sectarian hatred at all. A Christian is a repentant sinner, aiming (though frequently failing of course) to follow Jesus' teaching, and to love God and their fellow man. Where I come from those who march in the Orange Walk or join paramilitary organisations are NOT those who love God and their fellow man and pitch up at church Sunday by Sunday.

It's tribalism, cultural indoctrination and politics that are behind so many of the bad things done in the name of religion. I agree that this is appalling but don't find it compelling as a pro-atheism/anti-faith argument.

There are bad apples amongst people of faith and atheists both.

However, in every town, village and city in this country, I know that Christian people (and no doubt other faith groups) are giving sacrificially of their time, their talents and their money to help their community, without thanks. Mums and tots groups, old folks' lunch clubs, youth clubs, social action campaigning, fundraising for third world causes, and loads more. Of course you can spot flaws in Christians. They're just human beings and aren't claiming to be better than anyone else (you can't become a Christian without humbling yourself to see your sin) but they're often really decent folk.

Atheists do good works too btw - I'm just saying I'm fed up with "religion causes wars" as an argument because I just don't think it holds water. SIN causes wars.

I put this argument earlier today to an atheist who replied by saying: "You raise a good point. I would suggest, however, that the same people would be doing good deeds in the absence of religion. I am an athiest who is constantly helping people and I volunteer for charities. I dont think you need religion or god for this."

I had already said that atheists do good works too and of course I wouldn't for a moment claim that only believers do good things. However, the great privilege of my job is that I meet guys who have come to faith following a criminal past. These individuals most certainly did NOT major in good works before becoming Christians!

Becoming a Christian can and does change people (including offenders) for the better and I have seen that with my own eyes.

I confess that I am by nature extremely cynical, which is why I have so much sympathy with atheists (it's pretty much a miracle God enabled me to be a believer at all given my personality - proof on its own of the existence of God perhaps). However the evidence that persuades me most if I start to doubt, is the evidence of a truly changed life. No, these offenders don't become perfect, and neither have I yet, but very often the change in them is absolutely astonishing.

And as a footnote for those of us born and bred in Churchworld, by and large these guys are entirely unfettered by all the pettiness of the institutional church and "get it" (the point of putting faith in God) FAR more clearly than many a seasoned (jaded?) churchgoer.

I Love This.

2010-02-09T18:22:00.002Z

Hat tip to Robb who posted it on Facebook.

"I don't think that's quite what you meant, darling".

2010-02-04T22:00:00.003Z

Him Indoors will be going to Peru in a few days' time with the Vine Trust as part of a fact finding trip for church leaders to explore how their congregations might get involved in supporting the work there in the future. I'm sure I'll be mentioning more about it in due course.

Our own four children are at various stages in their understanding of the difference between our privileged lives in the UK and the difficulties of people in countries like Peru. But they are also at different stages in their understanding of the English language, apparently.

Penultimate Child, who is ten, and proud of knowing more about the facts of life than Youngest Child, who is nine, had obviously been listening carefully-ish to our friend June tell our congregation about the lives of street children in Peru and the dangers they face. She was talking to her sister and myself about daddy's forthcoming trip, and about Peru, when she suddenly dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Mummy, is daddy going to Peru to try to stop girls becoming... *whispering even more quietly now*... PROTESTANTS?".

I'm NOT Fat - I'm Brainy.

2010-01-30T22:11:00.001Z

Things Not to Say to Prisoners.

2010-01-28T22:04:00.005Z

I have a gift. It's a talent. I am able to say precisely the wrong thing. Effortlessly. Not always but sometimes. I just open my mouth and put my foot right in it.

I once told a man with an artificial leg that he didn't have a leg to stand on.

Another time I was talking to a lady as we watched children having a snowball fight. I said jokingly, "I'm allergic to snowballs", in response to which the lady introduced her friend... whose name was Mrs Snowball.

Foot in mouth disease strikes me in prison too.

A very shy prisoner used to come into my office quite often and just sit and say next to nothing. Making conversation was hard work. One day (it was the 5th of November) I happened to say, "It's Bonfire Night tonight". As the words were still leaving my mouth, I thought, "You dumpling - this guy is in prison for wilful fireraising." Oops.

This week I was having a chat with a young prisoner who had been reflecting on growing up as the son of an alcoholic father. He was telling me that he and his partner had been talking about their desire to make sure their own children don't grow up with the types of memories he has. We were talking about how drinking alcohol is fine if you can drink in moderation, but if you can't drink without getting drunk, you are better not drink at all. I was explaining that I myself am quite happy to have a glass of wine and then just go on to coke. I noticed that his expression suddenly changed and, although he didn't say anything, he looked absolutely astonished. It was then I re-thought my statement that after a glass of wine I move on to coke. "Er, I mean Diet Coke. The drink. Not cocaine" "Ahh! Right!" - the penny dropped. Good job I noticed his misunderstanding or it would have been all round the jail that their chaplain was a cokehead.

Watching Your Daughter Grow.

2010-01-26T21:25:00.004Z

I have a 14 year old daughter so I was moved by this post. I had come across this collaborative blog because UHDD flagged it up as she has a (very good) post on it too.

Are Prison Chaplains Just Naive?

2010-01-20T22:06:00.003Z

Anyone who studies counselling is likely to come across Carl Rogers and his three core conditions, namely congruence (being real, genuine), empathy (understanding) and what he calls "unconditional positive regard". The counsellor must treat the client with unconditional positive regard. I think it could be argued that a simpler word for unconditional positive regard is "love". The counsellor must treat the client with love.

I have often reflected in the 32 months I've been a prison chaplain that much of what is contained in the two A4 pages of job description I was given could be summarised in an instruction to "love" the prisoners. Of course, the Scottish Prison Service, my employers, do not tend to use such language and nor would anyone expect them to. But I do see my role in the prison, at least in part, as being to love the prisoners.

I've had two interesting conversations recently which have awakened me to the fact that this is quite likely to be misunderstood by non chaplains.

A number of weeks ago, a prison officer asked me whether I got fed up sometimes with some of the prisoners who were unlikely to change and who had unpleasant attitudes and behaviours. He had noticed that I had been willingly giving a lot of time to one particular young man who, it was generally felt, was likely to be a lifelong habitual offender due to his background as a child and his pattern of offending thus far, along with his attitude to authority. As we talked it dawned on me that this officer thought that I was blind to the prisoner's faults and that I was naive to be giving him the time of day. It was great that we had that conversation as I was able to explain that we do not, as chaplains, divide prisoners in our minds into two groups - the bad guys and the good guys. On principle we treat them all as if they were "good guys", not because we are blind to their faults (far from it - some of their offences and attitudes are extremely offensive) but because we intentionally choose to treat them that way. As a Christian, I believe that I am to love everyone. I believe that everyone is made in the image of God and although that bit of them can be suppressed and repressed very thoroughly, it is my job to look and look for that bit and draw it out and encourage it.

The other conversation I had was similar in a way. I was contacted by email by a lady who writes for a German business magazine. They have a regular piece where they compare and contrast two people doing the same job in different parts of the world. For some reason they had decided to have an article on prison chaplains (not sure why, in a business magazine!) and had randomly picked myself in Scotland and a chaplain of a maximum security prison in Jamaica. We had a fascinating three way phone conversation. At some point in that conversation I said, as above, that I thought my job was to love the prisoners. A week later, I was emailed with some questions of clarification, including the question of whether it was always possible to love prisoners who had done bad things or had bad attitudes. My response was that love is not a feeling but an act of the will. Loving prisoners is not based on how lovable they are but on my intention, with God's help, to love them.

If prison chaplains were blind to the faults of the people they meet, or if they believed everything they heard (we certainly don't!) then, yes, naive would be the word. If prison chaplains choose, as an act of the will, to love those they work with and to look for the vestiges of the image of God in them in order to draw that out, then this is not naivete.

(Note: Non-Christian readers, unimpressed with talk about being made in the image of God, may relate better to the idea of how we treat people affecting how they behave. If I treat a man as a useless good-for-nothing, that may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I treat him instead as someone with the potential for change, with the potential to do good for his family and community, then this may result in his behaving better.)

Haiti.

2010-01-20T21:46:00.003Z

I know that like me you will have been overwhelmed as we've followed the news from Haiti. It is unimaginably awful. This evening I found this blog which gives insight into what it is like there just now. I'm sure there are other blogs too. For people like me who know no one in Haiti they help to personalise the story and help me see that (unfortunately) it is all too real.

I was of course also interested to hear on the news that the prison was affected by the earthquake. A few people died but most of the 4,500 prisoners have escaped. I am imagining that this will cause additional problems for the people of Haiti. Some of these will be dangerous individuals and some will be desperate individuals. The police are already stretched to capacity without being able to pursue all these fugitives.

You Have a Friend Request.

2010-01-11T22:38:00.003Z

Two of the great loves in my life are Facebook and Jesus - not, hopefully, in that order. Who knew that you could combine the two in this teeshirt? I love it. Not in the sense of wanting one. Not in the sense of being willing to wear one. And He needs a better profile picture. But it makes me smile all the same.

I've had a Nice Year.

2009-12-28T15:19:00.003Z

Sometimes I think working full time doesn't give enough time for life outside, but when I look back on 2009 I've got to admit I've had a pretty happy year. Thank you Lord.

Could this be Jack Frost?

2009-12-28T09:26:00.003Z

My dad took this picture in his garden. He calls it "Ice Man in the Grip of Winter". It even has a face!

2009-12-21T22:43:00.004Z

You may have thought I was dead since I've been away so long, but I'm not. All is well in the world of AnneDroid, thankfully. At least nothing's wrong that a fortnight on my own somewhere sunny wouldn't cure, but that's not on offer, sadly.

Prison at Christmas is kind of depressing but my children at home are so hyper that my mood is stabilised somewhere in between.

In both prisons I work in we had carol services. They were both really great. Admittedly, the second one was a challenge to me as I was throwing up all over the place and wanted to lie down all the time (I have since got better but shared my bug with three of the other five people in this house). The first one was a revelation to me, though. We had a drummer, who is a prisoner, and a guitarist (the husband of a local minister) and someone to lead the singing - the minister who is married to the guitarist. She turned up with a big shopping bag. I couldn't imagine what was in it and was astonished (that's not a strong enough word, btw) when she produced bells, shakers and tambourines for all the guys. I was thinking, "No! No! No! Scotland's Toughest will never wear this! They'll never shake bells and rattle tamourines - they'll laugh in your face." But how wrong I was. The guys had a whale of a time. When I got up at the end to thank everyone, I found I was pretty deaf between the drums and the bells and tambourines. Then we had coffee and mince pies, and, for a little while at least, it was as if none of us were in a prison at all. I love these moments. So often, at chaplaincy events, I've had guys say to me, "It's great to get out of the prison for a wee while" and yet of course we're right in the middle of the prison.

This evening I've been writing Christmas cards to the prisoners. Many of them will get Christmas cards of course, from family and friends, but we do have a significant number of guys who won't otherwise get a single card from anyone. As the wife of a parish minister, we get heaps and heaps of Christmas cards. Sometimes we don't even know who they're from to be honest. If it says "Bill and Anne" or "Jim and Mary" we have to think "Which Bill and Anne?", "Which Jim and Mary?" and so on. But if you either genuinely have no one, or more likely, your behaviour, your crime, your addiction, whatever, has alienated everyone you know, and all your relatives, then you may well get no Christmas cards.

I know it's an insanely busy time of year for most of us, but if you're the praying kind please remember in prayer those who will have no Christmas cards this year: not because cards matter or are useful particularly, but because of what that means - people who have no one who cares enough to send them a card. Even if it's their own fault. That's not the point. To succeed in desisting from crime, the evidence suggests, people need strong and significant supportive relationships.

Recently I was at a meeting where people from a charity for the homeless were speaking. As it happens both of them were former homeless alcoholics themselves. They were talking about the difference that their drop in centre has made in the life of people. Those who come along have next to no real friends to start with and yet in a short time have a circle of people who really care and really are their friends.

I am thinking this Christmas of someone who is enjoying his first Christmas on the outside for many years. When I first met him, in prison, he told me he could see two possible futures for himself - one as a dope-smoking hermit and one as involved in a local church somewhere. The latter he was shy of, though, and apprehensive about. I'm delighted to see what God has done in his life. He has been baptised since leaving prison. He is at church every week and home group midweek. The church he has gone to have been welcoming and supportive. And, on top of that, or below that as a foundation perhaps, he has friends now. A network of friends - he'll have had Christmas cards this year. And that's significant.

Santa's a Scotsman!

2009-12-21T22:39:00.001Z

I posted this last year but hey ho! I love it and may just post it every December. The video could be better but the song is ace.

Sanctuary First.

2009-12-04T23:16:00.003Z

I'm really proud this week because it is my prayers and my chosen Bible readings which are in the daily worship bit of Sanctuary First's website, all this week (30 November to 6 December).

And they thought I'd never amount to anything! Huh!

The Man Song. You're the Man! Of course you are.

2009-12-03T18:22:00.000Z

Parenting.

2009-12-02T21:48:00.002Z

These two brain scans come from Bruce Perry, M.D., Ph.D., of the Baylor College of Medicine. The image on the left is a CT scan of a normal healthy three year old child, average in head size, intellect etc. and the image on the right is the brain of a three year old child suffering from severe sensory neglect.

I was shocked by the contrast in these images. I hadn't realised that neglected children were affected mentally in a literal, physical, neurological way by what had happened to them. I suppose I vaguely imagined their main problems were due to bad example and lack of love and so on.

The poor little child in the slide is an extreme example, admittedly, but the truth is that there are actual neurological consequences to neglect in children. In particular, there are fewer connections in the brain than there should be, and the bits of the brain that enable us to understand where other people are coming from, to have empathy, to have sensitivity to the complex feelings of people around us, don't get the chance to develop very well in the neglected child. These children are therefore biologically more likely to end up behaving in an anti-social manner in the future as they don't understand the effects on other people's feelings of their actions.

I want to encourage anyone who is involved in working with young children in any way that all the time you give is worthwhile. I used to be involved as a volunteer in helping to run a parent and toddler group and my really wonderful friends Gillian and Norma are faithfully still involved, and have been since their own fourteen year olds were babies.

These early years are so critical.

This is a concern to me in Prisonworld too. It seems to me that huge resources should be devoted to parenting classes for prisoners (and perhaps their partners too, in some circumstances). So many of our prisoners had really appalling childhoods, as the children of alcoholics, drug addicts, neglectful or abusive parents. Also, many were in care as children and/or are the sons of parents who were themselves in prison. I have heard some stories that are so horrendous I nearly wept to hear them.

We need, as a society, to do all we can to break this dreadful cycle.

But cynically, I suspect that the problem is that there are no votes in this. It's too long term, isn't it? It's about sowing seeds now that might bear fruit in eighteen years. In party political election terms, that's too far in the future...

Team Hoyt and the Father's love.

2009-12-01T22:57:00.003Z

You may have seen this DVD clip before. If not, you're in for a really special treat if you watch it.

But.... can you imagine the immense privilege of watching this with a bunch of prisoners who are having the Fatherly love of God explained to them, in some cases for the first time? I don't need to imagine it! I have experienced it, and it was a very special thing indeed.

It's still Prisoners Week.

2009-11-19T07:30:00.004Z

It's still Prisoners Week. Thanks Jon at The Ongoing Adventures of ASBO Jesus.

Prisoners Week 2009

2009-11-15T23:27:00.003Z

This is Prisoners Week. Here is the official Prisoners Week Prayer:, though I'm sure the Lord would be at least as happy with an unoffical one, if it's from the heart.

Lord, you offer freedom to all people.
We pray for those who are captives in prison
and those who are affected by or involved in their imprisonment.
Break the bonds of fear and isolation that exist.
Support with your love: prisoners, their families and friends,
prison staff and all who care.
Heal those who have been wounded by the activities of others,
expecially the victims of crime.
Help us to forgive one another, to act justly, to love mercy,
and walk humbly together with Christ
in his strength and in his spirit now and every day.
Amen.

How to Worship instructional video.

2009-11-02T21:26:00.002Z

Tongue-in-cheek and funny:

Good News for a Change.

2009-10-27T22:44:00.003Z

Some time ago I pointed you in the direction of the blog of a fellow prison chaplain in Scotland whose new initiative I'm a big fan of. It was really very encouraging to read this update on his blog, especially since I know one or two of the men he's talking about.

Prisoners can be at services every week during their sentence but as I've often spoken about here, it's very difficult for many - most, even - of them to make the transition to church on the outside. The first wee while out of jail is very difficult generally for lots of other reasons too. It is so wonderful to know that these guys are managing, with a bit of facilitation, to support and encourage each other.

I've been invited to go along myself sometime, which I'm looking forward to. Meanwhile, if anyone has a spare house, or a spare minibus, or some spare money, do let me know!! Or if not, your prayers would also be much appreciated.

Man Judges By Outward Appearance.

2009-10-05T23:20:00.003+01:00

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later: the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes: A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes: A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes: The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour: He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

Thanks to Sonja for sending me this story. It's a hugely powerful one and illustrates a big problem I see in Prisonworld. Many prisoners have a skill or a talent of some sort which would be of benefit to society. Unfortunately, when they are released from prison, these talents will probably be overlooked and ignored because of the giant label they carry which says "ex-offender", together with the other giant label many of them have which says "underclass".

One question is just how to get society to see past these labels and see the gifted person within, and I don't know the answer. Another question is how to get the guys themselves to see past their own perceptions of themselves. So often, to the frustration of their families, and of us who work with them, just when they have achieved a success of some kind, they shoot themselves in the foot with, for example, a drug failure. It's as if they don't really think this new identity fits properly, and it's easier to go back to the familiar, in spite of the fact they know very well where the familiar has got them.

As a Christian working in a jail, it's fab to be able to tell guys who come to the services that God is already impressed with them. He doesn't care about their background or lack of education. He doesn't care that they have a criminal record. He doesn't walk past them, like the folk on the underground walked past the violinist, dismissing him as of no significance. He loves them and thinks they were worth His own Son Jesus. I tell them that when they get "libbed" (liberated, released) they should find a church to go to. I tell them that in the church, also, they will be loved for who they are. I hope that's true.

What Am I Here For?

2009-09-28T22:22:00.005+01:00

Powerful stuff, this. Thanks to Claire for sending it to me:

"I’m part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still.

My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I’m done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by Holy Spirit power.

My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, and preached up for the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He does come for His own, He’ll have no problems recognizing me. My banner will be clear!

-Found among the papers of a young Zimbabwe pastor after he was martyred"

I'm going to put these words up on the wall beside my desk at work.

Football For Life.

2009-09-24T23:42:00.004+01:00

I'd love you to read this and then watch this:

It's lovely to be part of a good news story for a change. The media persecute us mercilessly, as a rule. Mindless stories about mollycoddled bad guys sell papers but don't help anyone else.
The Football For Life project in South Africa is just fab. The kids the project aims to help are growing up in poverty and gangland culture. Many of them are fatherless too. The football coaches are trained to mentor the kids they work with, using football as a distraction from gang activity, and a way to channel gang rivalry (better to fight it out metaphorically through a football match than literally fight it out). Along with the football they deliver messages about health, and some education, and a bit of surrgogate fatherhood. I think it's a wonderful thing but it's not just what I think - there is statistical evidence for the reduced murder rate in the area, for reduced teenage pregnancy among the girls they're working with, etc..
Glasgow The Caring City are our main link with the Monte Christo Ministries project in South Africa, and they are in partnership with World Emergency Relief who made the video.
If you're looking for a project for your church or school you could contact Ross at Glasgow The Caring City and offer to sponsor a team in South Africa for their football kit for a year. £250 is an achievable sum (a non-uniform day at school or a dress down day at work, for example?) which would make a world of a difference to the lives of these kids. But they'd accept any money of course. I know for a fact that their football shirts and boots would be their most prized possessions. The plan is eventually to post the projects' football teams' scores on the internet so that folk can follow the performance of the team they're sponsoring. What with the World Cup being in South Africa (without Scotland though, sadly) it is a project that has the potential to capture the imagination of kids as well as prisoners.

What's your view?

2009-09-22T20:29:00.005+01:00

I've not been calling by here much. I go through phases of things and just now I'm in a Facebook phase. Facebook's amazing - this week I've reconnected with my schoolfriend, who was my bridesmaid way back in 1993. And recently I've also reconnected with a former colleague from my days working for the Department of Social Security (as it was called then). I remember debates we had in the pub at work nights out, he being a convinced atheist and me being an equally convinced Christian. Well, nearly twenty years on we've picked up from where we left off. (Incidentally I don't think debating/arguing really works in achieving anything - we just get more and more entrenched. So maybe I should quit while I'm (not) ahead.)

I thought I'd share today's debate.

In the unlikely event I have any readers left here after my faithlessness as a blogger of late, you'd be welcome to join in/argue with either or both of us.

Norman's post, which started it, was: "Blasphemy is a victimless crime." Richard Dawkins.

Then it went like this:

Neil: What a hero.

AnneDroid: Been thinking about this. I would happily fight for the right for people to blaspheme if they want. Free speech etc. But at the same time it actually really hurts us as Christians to hear blasphemy and I don't really get why people want to use God's name/Christ's name all the time the way they do... what do they get out of it? I never say anything but I don't like it. I do know Dawkins wasn't thinking of humans as victims by the way and it was a very clever joke!

Norman: Oh, it's just a joke of course. However, if you make it a crime, as I believe they have just done in Ireland, then it ceases to be funny. Would you hang Dave Allen?

AnneDroid: No I love him. Which I suppose shows I'm not always offended, as with Dawkins' joke which doesn't offend me either.

Norman: It's a question of how we all get along together. The Danish cartoons of Mohammed were deliberately provocative and some Muslims love to be provoked. I am an atheist but have a Christian background and many Christian friends. We all rub along well enough until a subject comes up that divides us on faith lines. The Scott Rennie business, for example.

Neil: The trouble with blasphemy as a crime is that nobody else is protected by the law from being offended. I have no doubt Christians are hurt by some blasphemous comments but I was hurt the other day by the teenage girls following me down the street calling me a fat smelly bastard. I just have to deal with it and get on with life. Christians, I am afraid, need to develop thicker skins.

AnneDroid: Yes Neil that's very true.

Norman: Well, of course behind the idea of a sanction for blasphemy is the idea of any law being dictated by religion. That's less about the sensitivity of Christians than their wish to force their views on others. The various attempts to force Schools to teach Creationism in Science classes for example. That is applied ignorance which cannot be tolerated.

Neil: Hear hear.

(few hours gap)
Norman: AnneDroid, I don't know if you are so offended by the tack this discussion has taken that you've decided to say nothing, however I'd be interested in your view on Christian values in a secular society.

AnneDroid: No not offended esp as my thought for the day is to develop a thicker skin!! Gross over simplification of my view: don't want a Christian version of Shariah law imposed on you or anyone else. But do think kids at school should be taught what faith groups believe, inc that many believe God made the world. Have had many a debate with an atheist who in fact doesn't really know what we believe at all. Appreciate some values are shared between us and secular law, eg "do not murder" and some aren't, eg "do not commit adultery", "do not covet", "love your neighbour as yourself" etc.. That's fine - we can and do live with that tension. But on the other hand as a mum I do sincerely wish some of the messages of the secularist media and state education were not constantly washing over my kids as if they were absolute fact.

Norman: I can live with most of this but "...on the other hand as a mum I do sincerely wish some of the messages of the secularist media and state education were not constantly washing over my kids as if they were absolute fact." Example/s?

AnneDroid: E.G.! (1) that women are to be judged according to their appearance - "read" any women's or men's magazine. (2)That people are valued by what they have - the constant use of the word "worth" in the media - so and so is "worth" sixty million pounds or whatever. (3)That school age sex is just the next developmental stage and nothing to do with belonging in a long term committed relationship - the way it is sometimes presented even by healthcare and educational workers but certainly in the popular teen media. (4) the rampant mateiralism/consumerism - my mobile phone is so last year so I must have another one. (5) the big atheist lie that we must choose between science and faith which is total crap. I love science and the more I learn about it the more my faith is encouraged. I think of at least three Christians I know well who are nuclear physicists, one of whom has twice shown me round CERN, and so on. (6) the fact every time a religious person appears in a TV drama they are mad.

Norman: I'm not sure if any of these are taught in schools! They're certainly not the values of everyone and " the big atheist lie that we must choose between science and faith" is not a universal view among atheists either.

Useless Junkies or People?

2009-09-22T19:58:00.004+01:00

This was a totally harrowing programme to watch the night before last, highlighting very graphically (think before you decide to watch this clip) the horrific misery of drug addiction. I'm glad I watched it, but it was difficult to watch. Ben was miserable and his family were miserable. It was brave of his family to allow their story to be shown but it would be wonderful to think it might have put off someone from going down that path.

Prisonworld is, of course, full of people for whom drugs is a part of their story. Some were addicted and getting a prison sentence has saved their life and they have managed to get clean. Some had never touched drugs at all and have only taken drugs since coming into prison, perhaps even getting to the stage where it is an addiction. Some were drug dealers, smugglers, couriers, and of course of those some were small time and some were big time. I've never used drugs myself but I've come to hate them with a passion as a result of seeing the devastation they cause. The addicts are miserable. So are their families. And of course there are also other victims - drugs are expensive and have to be paid for, sometimes through crime.

And yes, I do know lots of folk use them recreationally and don't get addicted. They would, with some justification, point to my drinking a glass of wine sometimes of an evening and say "that's a drug" and so it is, I admit it, though thankfully I'm not addicted. So also caffeine is a drug, which I've lapsed back into big time in spite of my good intentions, here and the first part of this last year.

I really hate heroin, cocaine, cannabis and all of them. I hate the whole world that goes with it. Crime, lies, violence, deception, death, and all kinds of unimaginable seediness. Legalising drugs might take away some of that, but it certainly wouldn't take away what Ben went through. From what I gathered from the program, Ben's family helped him fund his habit, with good intentions, although his poor father was then obliged to keep working till 71 when he died from cancer without having the opportunity to retire. I can imagine I might put up the finance too if it was one of my children. Parents don't want their daughter funding their drug habit by prostituting themselves or their sons doing so by mugging old ladies in the street. No wonder they subsidise them.

I've no idea what the solutions are, although I guess making simplistic pronouncements obviously isn't one of them. It's complex and we need to face up to that.

Certainly, amongst other things we need a different attitude, as a society, to the problem. In this country, there are huge waiting lists in some areas to get access to rehab, or a methadone prescription as the services are hugely under-resourced and stretched beyond capacity. It seems to me that the powers that be probably reckon there's no votes in helping drug addicts. Tabloids paint them as the villains and people don't want to see "useless junkies" getting taxpayers money.

It's my privilege as a prison chaplain to love people for a living, but do you know what? Even if you hate "useless junkies", then for selfish reasons alone, you should want to help them, as you may save yourself being a victim of their crime, or from having to fund through your taxes a costly prison sentence (well over £30,000 a year I think) for someone who might instead be working and paying tax.

Ben's story showed powerfully how low drugs can take a person. It also showed that drug addicts are real human beings with feelings, who didn't plan to be drug addicts and who wish they weren't . Their offences may offend us a lot, but they are still worthy of our compassion. And prayer.

West Highland Way.

2009-09-04T22:35:00.002+01:00

Him Indoors and Blue Eyed Boy recently completed the West Highland Way along with some other hardy souls from our church, and the very talented Big Nathan (there's also a Wee Nathan) put it together into a video. (You may remember this, which was really awesome).

Watch this with your sound on:

When Harry met Great-Gran.

2009-08-30T23:05:00.003+01:00

I've sort of lost my blogging mojo recently, though I think only temporarily. But I've just been driven back here to post this photo, freshly nicked from my brother's wife's Facebook photos.

In the picture are two very special people we're delighted still to have with us. My gran was 102 back in April. And my little nephew (her great-grandson) was really about as ill as you can get after he was born in July, but is now absolutely thriving, as you can see.

We are so grateful as a family for all the prayers for Miracle Boy. Some of the prayers were from pray-ers who've never met me but who read this blog and that meant a huge amount to me. I was also very touched by the fact that one of the people praying was a former prisoner, who is a Christian. He not only was praying himself, but had contacted his mum, who lives about 400 miles away, and is also a Christian. She had got her whole church prayer group on board as well, praying for the nephew of someone she had never met.

Prayer works, I have no doubt. Well actually quite often I do have doubt, when it comes to the crunch, and I'm mid-panic, but when I'm, as it were, in my right mind, I really do believe in prayer. From experience.

I know prayer's not a magic wand. God isn't a fairy godmother there to do our bidding and sometimes the answer is "no" or "not yet" or "yes but in a different way from you were thinking", but God is good, and he answers prayer, often with a simple "yes". What I never doubt, though, is that he's always infinitely more ready, willing and able to answer our prayers than we are willing to make the effort/take the time to do the praying.

To those who've prayed for Harry, I just want to say thank you, absurdly inadequate though those two little words are.

The Ten Commandments are for Scots too.

2009-08-14T08:12:00.003+01:00

Over the summer we've been doing a series on The Ten Commandments at our church. Him Indoors was away the first week so I got to kick it off. He was away on Sunday just past too, and left me to try and fit "You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, and you shall not steal" into one week which was a challenge - you'd think he would have known how many Sundays it would take for a series on the TEN commandments, but never mind.

After the first service, a lady in the church sent me the following, which I think is great. Apologies for non Scots readers - you'll have to look up the translation in Exodus 20:3ff.

"In Brief" by W.A. Noble

I am the only God ye'll hae,
Nae images o' gowd nor clay.
In vain ye daurna tak my name,
My day o' rest - ye'll day the same.
Honour yer faither an' mither baith.
Tae slay a fellow man be laith.
The bridal vows ye'll nae disdain,
Nor tak' awa' whit's nae yer ain.
Than tellin' tales ye'll hae mair sense,
An aye respect yer neighbour's fence.

Grace apparently found this treasure in the Church of Scotland's "Life and Work" magazine "many, many, many years ago". Good, isn't it?

Glad of A Dad.

2009-08-12T22:23:00.006+01:00

Who Do You Think You Are? on BBC 1 this evening was very moving. Kim Cattrall was researching the mystery of her grandfather's disapperance, after he walked out on her mum and her sisters when they were young children in Liverpool.

I won't say what the solution to the mystery was in case anyone is planning still to watch it, but the mystery was resolved. It wasn't a happy story though.

What struck me powerfully and moved me so much was to see how Kim's mum and aunts were still, seventy years on, not "over it". The tears were obviously, all these years after the event, very close to the surface and the sense of hurt and abandonment was STILL having a very serious negative effect at a very deep level.

Kim's grandfather wasn't in prison, but the program did make me think about the children effectively "abandoned" through the imprisonment of their parents. I read the other day that EVERY YEAR thirteen and a half thousand children in Scotland (and we're only a wee country) lose a parent to prison.

Some families survive this separation and are reunited happily when the sentence is over. But sadly many families don't.

There are many reasons why the relationships don't last. Some guys just think it's easier to be single in prison. "Doing a sentence with a partner on the outside is like doing double time", I've been told umpteen times. Some guys think they're doing the noble thing by not asking the partner to wait. Other times they get a Dear John letter or phone call. And there are many other scenarios.

Unfortunately, lots of our prisoners have no contact at all with their children. Sometimes they've been told to stay away (perhaps with the back up of the force of law) because of their previous behaviour. Other times they seem to be content to break the contact voluntarily. I don't know if their self esteem is so low that they think their kids are better off without them (the preferable explanation actually) of if they really and truly don't care about their children.

For the children of the latter category of prisoner, my heart grieves. How awful for them to grow up in the knowledge that their father chose to cut the ties. How awful for a child to feel abandoned, rejected and unloved. It was heartbreaking to watch Kim Cattrell's mum and aunts still struggling after seventy years to come to terms with their abandonment by their father.

I've been concentrating on the kids of our prisoner population in my thinking. But these guys were kids once. The statistics about the percentage of prisoners without a father's presence in their childhood are astonishing. Some of my colleagues in other jails have successfully distributed Mothers Day cards for prisoners to send to their mums for Mothers Day but attempts to do similar things for Fathers Day have always fallen flat on their face. So few prisoners have or have had good dads present in their lives. It's desperately sad. How can they be good dads to their own kids, with the added pressure of doing it from jail, if they don't know about fatherhood? Some think being a dad is about buying designer labels for their children out of their ill-gotten gains. I have a notice on my office wall that says "Dads! Kids need your presence, not presents", a response to a guy who used to boast about what a good dad he was because he sent heaps of money out to his 15 year old daughter. He had done so for most of her life he said. But he'd been in jail most of her life. Designer trainers can never replace the blessing of a loving dad in your home, or as near as can be.

I am so blessed with my lovely dad.

Update!

2009-08-05T10:01:00.002+01:00

Harry, who is two weeks old today, is now free of all his tubes and wires. His progress has been amazing - he was very very sick indeed. His improvement has been wonderful. Thank you very much indeed to all who prayed. I can't wait to meet him.

I'm back to work now after three weeks' holiday, feeling refreshed and enjoying both the banter and the more serious pastoral contacts.

Another Prayer Request.

2009-07-27T12:00:00.003+01:00

Please would you pray for my 5 day old nephew Harry. He is critically ill but stable. Today he has shown a very slight improvement but it is still very early days. Please pray that this would continue and that he wouldn't catch any infections. Pray for his mum and dad too. Thank you so much.

I've popped into an internet cafe on holiday to post this. Modern technology is a great thing in these circumstances. Through texting, twittering, facebook, email and this blog, as well as old fashioned word of mouth, Harry is being prayed for far and wide. My brother is also finding it easier to keep all the relatives abreast of news through texting rather than having to phone everyone constantly.

School's Out For The Summer.

2009-07-01T10:36:00.002+01:00

I post this video in honour of the four very excited kids who left the house this morning and who finish at 12 noon for seven whole weeks. In the case of Blue Eyed Boy, it's a case of "Primary School's out for ever", to edit Alice Cooper's lyrics slightly. After the summer I will have two kids at primary and two kids at secondary, which if nothing else is satisfyingly symmetrical. Blue Eyed Boy didn't really bond with school (!) through the first six years and would much rather not have bothered, thank you very much. However, his last year has been a good one, and his two taster days at the secondary school have impressed him (mainly the bunsen burners really).

Do you remember that "school's out for the summer" feeling? I do. There's absolutely nothing like it is there? Adult time off work isn't the same because you still have all the responsibilities at home. I was reflecting this morning that perhaps it feels like that when you die and enter eternal life, free from sin and sadness and worry, for ever.

A Great Role Model.

2009-06-21T15:50:00.003+01:00

If you've only time to read one post, please read yesterday's one instead!

We were privileged at church this morning to have Olympic swimmer Kirsty Balfour with us to present the prizes at the Sunday School prizegiving and to talk a little about her faith which has sustained her through the highs and lows of her swimming career. Our own Penultimate Child is a keen swimmer and was beside herself with excitement at this.

In the absence of a kitchen (we now have a working sink though, and the washing machine is plumbed in - woohoo!) we went out for lunch afterwards with Kirsty and her husband David.

Afterwards, Penultimate Child was given a present of a swimming cap with the Bejing Olympics logo and "Kirsty Balfour" on it, which will be a treasured possession. Then they had their photo taken together, then swapped tracksuit tops - just for the photo of course.

It's great for our daughter to have hsd this experience today of a really positive role model from the sport she loves and it's great that Kirsty and her husband are involved in the youth work in their own church so that they can be role models for their young folk.

Kids look up to role models; they can't help it. We are designed to seek role models as we grow up. Unfortunately our current celebrity culture doesn't always offer the best of role models for young folk but it's great that there are positive examples in our communities if we look for them.

What makes me sad in Prisonworld is that so many guys I work with haven't really ever had good role models in their lives and what makes me even sadder is when I see "STP"s (short term prisoners) look up to "lifers" (life sentence prisoners) and treat them with a sort of reverence, as if they were something to aspire to.

I'd like to see more mentoring for prisoners, people who would model a pro-social lifestyle but in an informal friendly way. Prison officers and social workers can't do it. The prisoners almost don't see them as human beings! But volunteers getting alongside them through playing football, doing artwork, participating in Bible studies, and just "chilling" would seem to me to be a good way to go. Unfortunately that's not as easy as it sounds to achieve, with all the security implications that go along with it. And the media seem to prefer to encourage society to adopt the "lock 'em up and throw away the key" approach.

But for those who haven't so much gone off the rails as who've never even seen the rails, it seems to me that positive role-modelling would be well worth a bit more experimenting with.

Calling all Pray-ers.

2009-06-20T23:32:00.004+01:00

If you're at all the praying kind, please please please pray for our good friends and their lovely little boy.

Thank you.

Nightjack.

2009-06-16T20:15:00.003+01:00

Mr Nighttime drew my attention to this article. I find it very very sad as Nightjack was one of my favourite bloggers. I didn't always agree with what he said, but I thought that he remained the right side of the line and was a super writer. I also felt that it was good that the police has people in it who care so passionately that the powers-that-be should act with integrity and wisdom.

Recently I've been frustrated by some of what is allowed legally to masquerade as journalism in our tabloids. There is so little redress if there are inaccuracies in a newspaper story. If you do manage to get a retraction, it's a tiny one-liner buried near the back of the paper. I know that compared to some totalitarian states we have "free" press and I'm grateful - very grateful in fact. However free doesn't mean fair and well-balanced.

Blogging gives people - ordinary people who aren't either journalists or politicians - a voice and Nightjack generally used his extremely well, I thought. People who work in the public service and who are passionate about their jobs and want to see the system be as good as possible aren't dangerous anarchists. They're ambassadors for their profession. We who read blogs have brains and can reject what we read. On the other hand we who read blogs may also have our horizons broadened and our understanding deepened. One of the things I love about reading blogs is that I get an insight into new spheres, and I'd be really sad if public servants felt that blogging was just too risky.

Incidentally you can hear his writing being discussed on this BBC program back in May when he won the Orwell prize for his writing.

Kitchen Sink Drama

2009-06-15T23:27:00.003+01:00

Our current kitchen and our temporary kitchen.

I'm more worried about missing my washing machine than the cooker! Do you think I could use the prison laundry? In a couple of weeks it'll be worth all the upheaval though. The old kitchen was literally falling apart. The other week the drawer unit fell apart, all by itself.

Chris Moyles - our ambassador!

2009-06-11T23:48:00.003+01:00

Various friends featured this on Facebook. It's just nice to hear positive, happy, fun, accurate comments about church from media rather than some of the frankly ignorant crap I've read recently in some newspapers from folk who'd obviously not been to church themselves for a hundred years. Chris Moyles hadn't actually been to this Peterborough church but had seen it on tv and was clearly impressed.

The commonest reaction to our church from people who come along to a special occasion and who hadn't been to church since childhood is much more along the lines of Chris Moyles' reaction than anything negative. When I take prisoners out to church, as I do sometimes, they are generally blown away.

Certainly some self-indulgent and luddite churches have turned themselves into stale museums where eveyone's pretending it's still the nineteenth century but there are others like ours who're GOOD places to visit. Happy, relaxed, cringe-free, positive, warm, non-judging and friendly.

Do you have a WEE car?

2009-06-09T11:05:00.001+01:00

If you switch on our computer after the kids have been on, chances are the background (desktop wallpaper) will have changed. This one made me laugh. Thanks kids.

Exodus.

2009-06-06T23:59:00.003+01:00

Here is a brilliant thing; good news amongst all the bad news which depresses us daily. Please, those of you who're the praying kind, get your praying muscles behind Exodus. I know some of those involved and it's fab, and so necessary.

Happy Pentecost, y'all.

2009-05-31T21:13:00.003+01:00

We liked this video from Albert, one of our favourite ministers - well in the top 200 anyway (don't want him to get big headed).

Christians sometimes mump their gums about Christmas being an overcommercialised Santa-fest and then at Easter we're inclined to moan about society's fixation with bunnies, chicks and daffodils. We want folk to know about the incarnation, the crucifixion and the resurrection. We get opportunities at Christmas and Easter, as the Church, to tell the story, as the world does nod in our direction at these seasons.

At Pentecost, on the other hand, we're left entirely to our own devices. Given the huffing and puffing some of us do at Christmas and Easter we should be pleased to be left alone at Pentecost.

Pentecost is absolutely up there in importance with the incarnation, crucifixion and resurrection. But in my denomination and in my church experience, the "celebration" of Pentecost has been a pretty low key affair. I wonder if that's because I/we haven't thought enough about how vital and fundamental to the Gospel story is the bit about the coming of the Holy Spirit. I don't think that's it really.

Or are we so worldly that we take our cue for our family celebrations and feast days more from Hallmark Cards and Tesco's "seasonal" aisle than we do from the Church and the Bible? Something to ponder.

Last night's waterfight.

2009-05-31T20:28:00.003+01:00

Firstborn and her pal upstairs at the bathroom window and Blue-eyed Boy, Penultimate Child and Youngest fighting back from below. Lots of fun.

Hats and tightropes.

2009-05-29T22:54:00.005+01:00

I don't look like a tightrope walker. At least I imagine tightrope walkers would be usually shaped (and probably dressed) a bit like ballerinas. I am not shaped like a ballerina and as a result it's a very good thing that I'm not dressed like a ballerina. But I am a tightrope walker. Or at least I have to try to be a tightrope walker. Walking a metaphorical tightrope. I'm a minister of religion but I'm also a civil servant. I am, to change metaphors, constantly having to wear two hats and serve two masters (God and the Governor!). This is a tricky balancing act sometimes. Much of the time there's no conflict so don't be sorry for me or anything...

I'm saying this to explain why I've not been posting much lately. I've not stopped thinking and reflecting about Prisonworld and I'm still as passionate about guys getting out of jail free, truly free. However it so happens that most of the things that I've been thinking about or have been happening in recent weeks have been stuff I can't blog about in this public forum. I'm keen with my minister hat and my blogger hat (that's three hats I'm claiming now) to talk about prisoners at every opportunity. I'm keen to raise awareness of them in the public mind and in particular in the minds and hearts of people in the Church. But with my civil servant hat on there are obviously things I can't talk about in this arena. So I've been keeping a low blogging profile.

In Churchworld, there's been a big stooshie in the Kirk and I can't talk about that either as there's a moritorium on public comment at the moment. I'm really pleased that is so as there had been a most unedifying "debate" ongoing through the press which had been very unhelpful. Openness is a good thing but no one wants to watch someone else's dirty washing being washed. So I'm glad to say nothing on that subject.

All that makes for a boring blog though I will have stuff to say soon.

I do have a fourth hat (I'm going to stop this post before I think of any more hats and start to feel overwhelmed) which is family life, and that's such a blessing. The ongoing splendid and delightful pleasure and privilege of watching them grow is fun. Up here on my tightrope I have a really clear view of them all.

2009-05-13T22:11:00.005+01:00

I came across this quote from Eugene Peterson on a forum today and I think it's so good I'll nick it and post it here:

"The churches of the revelation show us that Churches are not Victorian parlours where everything is picked up and ready for guests. They are messy family rooms. Entering a person’s house unexpectedly, we are sometimes met with a barrage of apologies. St. John does not apologise. Things are out of order, to be sure, but that is what happens to churches that are lived in. They are not show rooms. They are living rooms, and if the persons living in them are sinners, there are going to be clothes scattered about, handprints on the woodwork, and mud on the carpet. For as long as Jesus calls sinners to repentance – and there is no indication yet that he changed his policy in that regard- churches are going to be an embarrassment to the fastidious and an affront to the upright. There is nothing particularly glamorous about them, nor, on the other hand is there anything particularly shameful about them. They simply are.

Much anger towards the church and most disappointments in the church are because of failed expectations. We expect a disciplined army of committed men and women who courageously lay siege to the worldly powers; instead we find some people who are more concerned with getting rid of the crabgrass in their lawns. We expect a community of saints who are mature in the virtues of love and mercy, and find ourselves working on a church supper where there is more gossip than casseroles. We expect to meet minds that are informed and shaped by the great truths and rhythms of scripture, and find persons whose intellectual energy is barely sufficient to get them from the comics to the sports page. At such times it is more important to examine and change our expectations than to change the church, for the church is not what we organise, but what God gives, not the people we want to be with, but the people God gives us to be with – a community created by the descent of the Holy Spirit in which we submit ourselves to the Spirit’s affirmation, reformation, and motivation. There must be no idealisation of the church."

So true. At a recent service in the prison with members of local churches and prisoners all mixed together so that (apart from the women of course, as it's a men's prison) you couldn't tell who was a prisoner and who was "public", it was great to reflect on the unity of this huge, bizarre, flawed, beloved, worldwide, 2000-year old Thing that we call the Church.

The most moving and powerful thing I have seen in the two years I've been in the prison service wasn't actually in the prison at all. It was in a church service in a church not far from here (not the one I normally attend). I had gone along because a former prisoner who became a Christian in prison was speaking and he is a friend. I discovered that he was sharing the platform with two other men. One of these is a prison officer who is a Christian. The other is a prison-based social worker. They stood on the platform as brothers in Christ. I'm sure it was impressive to everyone but it was so much more impressive to those of us who have experienced Prisonworld because Prisonworld is such a divided place. To be fair, how else could it be run? Broadly speaking, the tendency is that the officers and prisoners (screws and cons) hate each other and both lots hate the social workers. This is a wild exaggeration, but there is commonly a "tension" there. It was such a powerful thing to see those three men standing there as brothers in Christ that I think I will remember it always.

I love the anarchic position of the church in society. We aren't part of the divided them-and-us culture. When God looks at our prisons he doesn't see screws and cons, but a whole random bunch of sinners, all of whom he loves. Some happen to be staff. Some happen to be prisoners. All of them need Jesus, because, actually, according to Romans 7, ALL of them - all of US - are prisoners!

We in the church are seen sometimes by secular society as self-righteous and arrogant. I may say that we sometimes deserve that. But in our better moments we acknowledge this wonderful anarchic truth that we're all wading through the treacle together. We're all struggling the same struggle. My set of temptations varies from yours. But that doesn't make me better than you. Or worse than you. Some peoples' set of temptations are also things that are against the law so they risk imprisonment. If that's not true for me I'm lucky. But I'm not superior. I'm a beggar telling other beggars where I've found food.

It's a privilege to work at the interface between church inside prison and church outside prison. They are part of the one Body, yet there's a gap. I suppose it's unavoidable. Chaplains can't really make the experience of a service in a prison exactly mirror the experience of a service in the commmunity outside. It's part of our role to try to facilitate the crossing of that (mostly cultural) gap with Christian prisoners coming out of jail, and it's a challenge but also a rewarding privilege. Even on a day like today which has been a hard one, I realise what an interesting position I'm in. The down side, compared to ministers in a "normal" church is that our congregations are constantly moving on and leaving us when they get out. When a guy tells me he's being released I have to appear pleased but (between you and me and don't tell anyone else) I'm sometimes quite sad as I know I'll miss them! But I've found that "Oh no!" doesn't go down well with the prisoner when he tells you he's getting his parole...

2009-05-12T22:49:00.003+01:00

I've been neglecting my poor wee blog recently. Partly this is due to transferring my addictive personality's attention to Facebook and Twitter, and partly it's been because my poor brain seems to be too tired to do much thinking these days. At least I've been thinking a lot, but I've not been able to marshal my thoughts into posts here.

I've had an interesting couple of days though. Yesterday (though it seems longer ago) I was doing a bit of refresher bereavement training. It was really good to take some time out to think of these issues and reflect on the privilege that we as chaplains have in being with people in their sorrow. One (male) chaplain was reflecting to me afterwards that the hardest thing for him is to sit with someone and to feel unable to come up with anything useful in terms of answers or advice. I (only half jokingly) asked him if he'd read that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book - which he had, as it turned out. The point that is made in that book is that men like to fix things, but according to the book women get frustrated with that because when they want to have a good old moan, they want to have a good old moan. End of. They're not looking for a solution. When Him Indoors starts solutionising in response to my moaning I call him Mr Fix It and tell him to stop it! To be fair to him and other men who fit the generalisation, I'm sure he can't see the point of moaning if you're not looking for advice or a solution so I must drive him mad. I'm eternally grateful that he puts up with me. He's a good soul really.

In the terrible reality of bereavement and grief, what the person really wants, the ONLY thing they really want, the ONE thing that would make it better, is the ONE thing you have no power to grant and that is to have the person back. Any other words or advice is likely to be irksome rather than helpful. But what's needed is someone to listen.

Carl Rodgers said that three core conditions are required by the bereaved for pastoral support to work. One is empathy, one is congruence (genuineness, sincerity) and "unconditional positive regard". Isn't that a nice phrase? Unconditional positive regard. Love, I prefer to call it.

Since then I've been spending a lot of time with fellow chaplains from other jails discussing what we do, for purposes I can't go into without having to kill you all. Hush hush. Official secrets act, civil serpents, etc.. Anyway, one of the key things that it is our huge honour to do as prison chaplains, it seems to me, is to meet prisoners with "unconditional positve regard". LOVE. The offences of the offenders may be extremely offensive. Their attitudes may be offensive. Their very appearance may be offensive! (Not that I'm any oil painting myself). But, as an act of the will, we love them. This is not a core duty of any other category of staff but is our privilege and our challenge. With God's help it's really easy actually but don't spread it around or they'll pay us less.

At the meeting this moring was a "high heid yin" who's not a chaplain. It was good to have someone who could see us as others see us. He said that he thought that the distinctive thing that we have to offer is HOPE.

The other thing which we offer is the "ordinances of religion". And the Gospel. We are the God Squad in the prison. We bring the message of Jesus to anyone who is open to hearing it. We facilitate the believing prisoners' worship opportunties. We encourage them im their spiritual growth and understanding. FAITH.

What are we about as chaplains?
Faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these is love.

There's been a murrdurr, surr.

2009-04-26T21:13:00.002+01:00

A dismembered skeleton was this evening found under our table. The chief suspect has shiny black fur, four legs and a long tail and should not be approached unless you like cuddles.

In case readers overseas don't get the reference in the title of this post it's a quote from the UK television crime drama Taggart, set in Glasgow.

More years than there were dalmations!

2009-04-24T18:06:00.006+01:00

My gran was 102 on Sunday. It's an amazing age to reach when you think of all that has happened in the world in her lifetime.

Fourteen of her closest family, plus our dog, gathered in her little room to mark the occasion. Unfortunately she doesn't hear very well so we have to take turns to speak close to her ear. Meanwhile of course the rest of us got caught up in conversations. Penultimate Child, who's very fond of her great-gran, was sitting on her bed beside her for most of the time. On the way home in the car she said, "Mummy. TWICE, Great-Gran said, "Thank you all for coming. I hope you have a safe journey home" but we didn't leave. Why was that?" Oops! None of us heard, except Penultimate Child, who was the only one listening. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere.

People Get Ready.

2009-04-23T23:25:00.004+01:00

On Good Friday (10th April) I posted about the doings of the local church here in Perth. Nathan, our very lovely drummer, who is also a talented film-maker, put this together and said it was okay for me to post it here.

Easter poetry, Steve Turner style.

2009-04-12T20:46:00.005+01:00

Happy Easter one and all. Isn't it great, those of you who share my faith, to think about the fact that people in every corner of the world have been celebrating the resurrection of Jesus today? Actually I think most of them must have been in our church as we ran out of seats and some of us had to sit in an improvised overflow area. Good problem to have, though. Incidentally the headless boy in the foreground of the second of these photos is my son. I'm so proud.

Here are two Easter poems from Steve Turner, my favourite poet, even better than Ogden Nash.

The Cast of Christmas Reassembles For Easter

Take the wise men to the Emperor's palace.
Wash their hands in water.
Get them to say something about truth.
Does anyone know any good Jewish jokes?
The one about a carpenter
who thought he was a King?
The one about the Saviour
who couldn't save himself?
The shepherds should stand with the chorus.
They have a big production number -
'Barabbas, We Love You Baby'.
Mary? She can move to the front.
We have a special section reserved
for family and close friends.
Tell her that we had to cut the manger up.
We needed the wood for something else.
The star I'm afraid I can't use.
There are no stars in this show.
The sky turns black with sorrow.
The earth shakes with terror.
Hold on to the frankincense.
We'll need that for the garden scene.
Angels? He could do with some angels.
Avenging angels.
Merciful angels.
He could really do with some angels.
Baby Jesus.
Step this way please.
My! How you've grown!

Steve Turner

- and -

Poem for Easter

Tell me:
What came first
Easter or the egg?
Crucifixion
or daffodils?
Three days in a tomb
or four days
in Paris?
(returning
Bank Holiday Monday).

When is a door
not a door?
When it is rolled away.
When is a body
not a body?
When it is a risen.

Question.
Why was it the Saviour rode on the cross?
Answer.
To get us
to the other side.

Behold I stand.
Behold I stand and what?
Behold I stand at the door and

knock knock.

Steve Turner